Ceres

2009-05-31T14:45:00.003+08:00

it is always wise to move on and let go of the past if things are not meant to be...
it's easy to say.. yet so tough to do..

anyway, after joining this trade i start to see the "true colours" of friends, or should i say so-called-friends for some. Call me cynical but people whom you thought are your closest frens may not choose to believe in you. So blame myself for being too trusting in people.. But this is a good lesson in life that many others may not experience. At least i've seen the tip of the iceberg of the worst that could have happened.

My circle of frenz have kinda narrowed down to people closest to me through my school days, as well as my pi family. At least they understand what i'm going through.. without having me to put up a false front.

I'm holding on, trying to be strong. Jia you Pi family! We can do it!!!!

headache

2009-05-15T02:33:00.002+08:00

headache ahhhhhh.. worrying about soooo many things now....

i want results to everything.. i want answers to every questions... i want solutions for all problems....

gossipssss

2009-04-06T02:59:00.003+08:00

It has been a while since i've last blogged!

Been experiencing lotsa ups and downs in my work, pretty de-moralising but that's the way our trade works. Luckily, i have my bunch of Pisters to ride through this tough time together!

OH, new gossips!!! I think it's quite unsafe to bitch ard here. But anyway, self-centredness and over-confidence are a no-no in my dictionary lah. I just wonder why some pple behave the way they do, the consequences of their actions/words don't seem to weigh on their list of thoughts, maybe coz they don't actually think before they talk. Then again, i wonder what are our brains for. But oh well, they might as well continue doing so coz at least there'll be some entertainment for us. Irritating yet amusing, these incidents were constantly in my hot topics nowadays that i think i'm damn bitchy can. Wah lao eh, i've suppressed this genes of mine for so long but someone managed to re-ignite the fire in me. KARMA AHHHHHH!!!!!

Aiya, i damn sian can! My blog like rusting already and i have no idea wad to blog.

With love,
Bitchy o' me

2008-02-18T00:59:00.005+08:00

sibeh gek sim. i think there should be a certain level of maturity displayed while in a relationship. being fully aware of your current status and that you have a boy/girl-friend and not to cross your limits at all times. i am one who respects freedom and will give freedom to anyone who deserves it, but not when one starts abusing it. before we were together he said that he needed my support in order not to turn back to the old ways. he gave me his word that he will not revert to the bastardized days and i gave him the trust n freedom as i really wouldn't want him to convert to his playful old self. seriously i cannot stand the idea of my bf flirting around with other girls and coming back to me at the end of the day, not even emotional flings via msn or friendster or you farking name it (not that he is doing it now). i know there are guys out there who would wanna explore and experiment with other girls when they already have a gf, but sorry my stand is that i am not so magnanimous to share my bf with others, the plain thought of it irks me to death. i am not possessive, but this is one's responsibility and commitment when you choose to get into a relationship. i hope that by giving and believing in him doesn't equate to me having to suffer the consequences by myself, when i chose to believe in him all this long.

2008-02-17T14:05:00.005+08:00

haha i'm back again.

i guess it's kinda unfair to always put him in a bad light, despite what has happened. he's real nice n sweet when he's with me, and i appreciate him so much for just being there with me on fridays and saturdays. those are the 2 days which i usually look forward to every time a new week starts. i just feel that it is ok for me to wanna know what's happening to him when he is not around me.. but it seems like worrying for someone else is a sin now. haiz

i am not like before, whereby i threw tantrums for no bloody reason. i am easily upset now not because i am in pms-mode or i have nothing better to do. in case you haven't notice, i seldom make a big fuss over something for a damn bloody long time. whenever i get pissed off, i do it because of one particular reason and that's because something is really wrong but if you can't understand, there's nothing more i can say. i was hot-headed and yes i am sorry for putting on a black face and for saying things too harshly. but why can't you just put yourselves into my shoes and spare a thought for my feelings? i thought that usually by accommodating to your needs and requests you will at least appreciate me for understanding and not picking a fight when other gfs would have done so. i am not trying to get your attention, i just want you to understand what am i thinking and how am i feeling. is it really wrong to communicate with you my needs n how i feel? if i put on a black face and say nothing, you would have been real vexed trying to guess what is wrong with me. now that i'm telling you my concerns, why won't you listen. why are you running away from me? i am angry because i care, not because i am trying to spice up my life with tears and some anger potions.

i just don't understand why can't you reply my message when you have the time to msg someone else hours after my sms to you. i'm not asking you to report to me. in case you don't know, i have many frenz who report to their bfs and expect the same in return daily. i don't do that so how can you even think that i am trying to control you or even to spot check you. if i want to i would have done so earlier, and not to be so bo liao as to kick up a big fuss now. i talked to you earlier on msn about the issue on how busy you were, telling you about time management. didn't i talk to you nicely earlier? but it seemed like this didn't help, and i feel that i had to do something about it in case the problems accumulate and get bigger. so now for pointing out some problems which we can solve together, i get all the blame and i am a controlling or jealous freak? how can you judge me like this based on this incident.

on Vday.. i was feeling quite jittery as the interview with X company is meant for scholars and smart people out there. i was so nervous and could only think of telling you about this, just you. when you didn't reply i didn't feel pissed at all. i was telling myself that you could be really busy, maybe you'll ask how did it go after that or maybe u would drop me a happy v-day message just for the protocol, since we weren't meeting at all. by the end of the day, there was no msg from you and you weren't online, i was really disappointed but i told myself again that you could be really busy and i shouldn't harp on things like that. by the end of yesterday, when i found out that you msged a Babe hours after my sms to you, but you did not even reply me, i was devastated. maybe you won't understand. try putting yourself in my shoes. how about me messaging my groupmate "hi shuai ge" when i practically ignored your last message to me. before i talk about jealousy, even if it is about school work, it still boils down to EFFORT, on whether you wanna put in effort to maintain the r/s and to even communicate with me. next, yes i am jealous. damn farking bloody cheebye jealous. CAN? knn.

just imagine yourself as me, with my partner talking to others like this. you don't like it when i club, do you? you know for sure that i won't allow the guys to do anything funny to me and i will siam if they approach me, don't you. IMAGINE, just imagine what if i flirt with the strangers in order to get them to pay for my drinks and let them do whatever they like to me like a slut? do you like it? do you think it's fair to you? you will never know what happen out there when i club. but i can assure you that i will never lie to you nor will i do something so fan jian!

where did the sensitive side go? now, i can only see an insensitive being staring at me while i was bearing my heart out to you. u used to always think about how i would feel if i had known that you were out with some other girls and tried to assure me though i didn't say i mind. u used to refrain from doing or saying things which you feel may induce my insecurities although i didn't request for them. u used to want to know if i am home safely; when i did not reply your sms as i was in an interview, you called me up to check if things are fine. things are gradually been taken for granted. keeping quiet doesn't mean that i don't mind, i just don't wish to add on to your burden when you already have so much on hand. i just thought that you will know and understand this one day. but when?

i thought we are supposed to connect and be dependent on each other, to be there for each other when one needed them. i think the reliance has thinned and does that mean you do not need me anymore? i personally don't like it as well when i rely on you too much but there HAS to be inter-dependency between a couple. arbo what is a couple for? you know that i am a strong person who will not depend on you excessively, and after telling me that you can't stand sticking girls, i have monitored my actions and i don't find myself to be sticky at all. in fact people find us aloof whenever i am not with you, coz i do not know what is happening in your life. but pls understand that i am really a woman despite being so man at times. i am a bloody typical woman who needs her man to pay attention to her and shows that he cares for her. do you know how terrible it felt for me to stand by the door and watch you walk by without even a look at me.

i wanted to tell you everything personally, but it seems like i can only say this through this virtual space, whereby i don't even know if you will be able to see this for your busy schedule. but if you do have the time to surf my page, pls go back to your studies coz you have wasted plenty of time reading this piece of shit from me.

worst v-day ever

2008-02-14T23:40:00.012+08:00

this is the worst V-day ever!

In the past i used to celebrate with liting every year.. Still remember i had ping, ting, sandy and elaine for company last year. The girls were so sweet!! now that i'm attached, i find myself more lonely than ever. haiz sian. not that i have high expectations or what. i don't even request for gifts or meet-ups. a simple wish or greeting will do but yet i don't see any. you won't see me begging for things like that anyway, so be it then. at oftentimes, i don't see much effort put in already. i think my friends know about my daily life more than he does, and i know more about my friends' life than his. no wonder one of my frenz asked me this super power question: "u guys not very close is it?" so now i know that this is how people take things for granted. so this was how memorable my 1st v-day turned out to be - full of crap and down with illnesses. oh well.

I don't think i'm unreasonable leh. In fact, some of my frenz think i've been too understanding till they can't stand me, and now to the extent that i find myself disgustingly nice at times. Maybe hao xin mei hao bao again. Turned out to be true in the case of my sis, n maybe true again in this case. A woman is a woman afterall, she needs what she needs, and needs are not gauged by how strong the personality one has. Coz, i repeat again, a woman is STILL a woman afterall.

2007-12-17T00:57:00.000+08:00

Dear Santa,
Pls send me some love this Xmas.

Regards,
=(

2007-11-25T10:41:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i reli wonder is it that hard to return an sms?

i'm not saying tt one shldn't focus on his or her studies, but there will always be time for toilet breaks, meals, games or even surfing of friendster. Since it only takes one about 1 minute to add another person on friendster, i dun see why he or she can't find time to return an sms which may take less than 10 secs.

so when my sch term resumes, i can safely assume tt i've got no time to contact any of my frenz and i shall refrain from using my phone at all, since i'll not have time at all with all the projects, tests, lessons, exams and also my job on hand.

i think time management is the key.

sianz

2007-11-15T10:43:00.000+08:00

Was chatting with mango steweish bebe last nite, and we realized that it was indeed better off being single. at least u dun hv to worry about all minor or major stuff, no expectations set for the partner hence no disappointments, and no hurt feelings whenever ugly fights do happen. Girl power all the way!!!

anyway, im blogging at work. not that im too bored, but just feel like crapping a little. oh well, back to work! meeting ex-colleague for lunch and then some shopping at night. i've kinda forgotten that my exam's in a week's time!! haha whatever the case is, retail therapy works for most people when we're super sian-ed or down, same for meeeeeeeee!

slaves to food

2007-10-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

Doesn't my head look big here?

Partly because it is bigger than theirs, but also because i was positioned nearer to the camera!

history

2007-08-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

sighz

i've been thinking of the past quite alot for the past few days - way too much. words can't describe how im feeling deep within. all the "what ifs" and "maybes" have been repeatedly swimming in my mind every now and then for the past 8 yrs, but no answers were found and i don't wish to know anything further too.

i guess i was too involved in it, causing the deep impact being embedded in me forever. i wish i can forget everything. how i wish.

2007-05-27T02:00:00.000+08:00

For boredom speaks the language of time, and it is to teach you the most valuable lesson of your life - the lesson of your utter insignificance.

Mathematics

2007-04-29T08:59:00.000+08:00

Substitution Method:

When
3y - 2x = 11
y + 2x = 9

It becomes
3y - 2x = 11
y = 9 - 2x

Then
3(9 - 2x) - 2x = 11

And the equations are solved!
(27 - 6x) - 2x = 11
27 - 6x - 2x = 11
27 - 8x = 11
-8x = -16
x = 2

y = 9 - 2(2)
y = 9 - 4
y = 5

I hate mathematics, but this is one simple method that humans are unknowingly incorporating into their lives. To make things easier, they do substitution for products to make their lives go on. And substitutes tend to be more inferior to the actual desired product.

This applies to us humans as well:
The substitution method is used to eliminate one of the variables by replacement when solving a system of equations.

In other words, when one person is away or not gonna be around anymore, one would have to replace the gap of this person's existence to solve the problems and enable a smooth operation of workflow or the normal ongoing of another person's life. In fact, I have been a substitute for so many people in the company, that I wouldn't want to get myself mathematically equationed into my personal life. Blame it on my pride, blame it on my stubbornness, but I do not want to settle as the 2nd best or the alternate way out - that is just too unbearable. Because I am a unique product, to be appreciated for who I am.

Life has made me unsure of many things, I do not know what is the truth and what is not. I learnt to be less trusting, after being hurt again and again. I hate the feeling of being betrayed, which in turn led me to confine myself to my own secret garden. I just couldn't help it but to feel dubious about everything. But I am trying, at least I tried my best to break out of it every now and then. I guess time is the key to solve my problem.

But I did not play anyone out. I'm sorry if you feel that way but I really did not. It's not that you have think too much as well, coz I meant what I have said. I really want you to excel and be someone capable. As much as I would not want to admit, you are still one of the most important people in my life at the moment who understands me.

2007-04-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

many surprises lately. good.

peiqi said that i seemed to be alot more toned down than usual nowadays, less hyper than usual, esp when we talk about work. i used to be so chatty whenever i talk about my job, coz i feel so happy to be working - the feeling tt i am actually alive, doing something meaningful and contributing to the company. ok tt was how enthu i was abt my work in the past. now i kinda feel a lil sick of work sometimes. but i could feel that it's improving nowadays.

4 bosses offered me positions.. which I am so glad about! this led me thinking if i shld leave or not.

ok forget about work.

it's the secretaries' week! we were each given a swarovski crystal. not too sure of the price, but heard that they weren't cheap. the company must have spent a bomb on our special lunch in Blu restaurant in Shangri-la hotel and the crystals, not forgetting the crabtree n evelyn gift pack.

got a test tomorrow.. hv not finished studying.. merely started actually. i reli need lotsa luck!

2007-04-16T12:11:00.001+08:00

saw this on leng's blog. interesting..

Sarah's Existing Situation
Working to create for herself a firm foundation on which to erect a secure, comfortable, and problem-free future, in which she will be granted respect and recognition.

Sarah's Stress Sources
The situation is regarded as threatening or dangerous. Outraged by the thought that she will be unable to achieve her goals and distressed at the feeling of helplessness to remedy this. Over-extended and feels beset, possibly to the point of nervous prostration.

Sarah's Restrained Characteristics
Exacting in her emotional demands and very particular in her choice of partner. The desire for emotional independence prevents any depth of involvement.
Feels that things stand in her way, that circumstances are forcing her to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.

Sarah's Desired Objective
Longs for sensitive and sympathetic understanding and wants to protect herself against argument, conflict, or any exhausting stresses.

Sarah's Actual Problem
Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on her resources. This feeling of powerlessness subjects her to agitation and acute distress. She attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as she desires them to be.

Take the Colourquiz yourself right now!

once bitten, twice shy

2007-04-16T02:09:00.000+08:00

here i am.. once again.. gonna start my nonsense again!

i am just not able to believe, or maybe i don't wanna believe in anything else, or anything more than what i have now. perhaps i feel safer in my own comfort zone that i wouldn't wanna incorporate any major changes into my life. i've gradually grown to accept facts and reality that i had become rather retarded to any changes. i realized that it has came to a point that i don't even know what i am doing, or what do i exactly want. i desperately needed a direction, some help as to what i'm going through now. but then again, i don't feel like talking about it to anyone. maybe the problems will just disappear as time goes by, and things will turn out as before. ha! what has happened to the tough old me? the one who knows what she wants in her life, what she aims to achieve in life. i have been evading from all my problems nowadays. i don't feel like facing anything when my life is full of uncertainties. i feel like such a loser all of a sudden. and as the saying goes.. once bitten, twice shy. i wouldn't wanna encounter any more of those unhappy incidents that happened to me in the past. there were times when i felt so so upset yet there was nothing i could do, and i could only resort to crying. ahhhh.. forget it. i'm crapping.

stressed

2007-03-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

never thought that i would be this sick of work..
this is the final straw and i'm gonna leave for good

next step: to study (but where and when?)
i'm feeling: pretty lousy, when i'm stuck to make a choice between work and studies.
frenz: are supportive and gave good advice, but ultimately i would have to decide for myself.
now: i'm having a migraine (as usual) and i'm not gonna think about these anymore

My dear beloved 吴尊!

2007-02-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

This is my dear beloved ah zun!

ok from now on i'm gonna just talk about happy things! things that i like! things tt i fancy! no more complaints!

oh yea.. i met up with my colleagues over the CNY holiday. yao yao, hammy, prissy and kaney turned up! and we had a good laugh over dinner and it was dessert after that. i was really happy to be reunited with the gang. they were the reli trustable pple i have met so far in my company and although all of us are different and we came from different family backgrounds,such matters are so insignificant compared to the joy that we bring to one another whenever we meet up for dinner or clubbing. hehe i reli love them! yao yao's gonna be back from HK soon! yay and we can meet up as usual for all kinda sports n events that we plan!

oh and my dad hired the lion dance troupe to my place, only to be late for 3hours and not showing any sign of sorriness for holding up our precious time on the 2nd day of CNY! i woke up soooo early at 8am to await their arrival and they had the cheek to create unnecessary noise outside my home when they arrive to rush my dad through the procedures. stupid bengs, don't they have any brains at all!? anyway, i met up with my bestest relatives during the festive season as well. we played blackjack and mahjong. my luck wasn't that good, i lost quite alot. but that's ok if it can entertain my favourite nephews n niece. my cousins were suanning me as usual, they never fail to do so every CNY, and i am so used to it. my dad did not force me to visit those snobbish ones, which means i need not put up a false front and be as hypocritical as some of them. *phewww*

2007-02-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

i can't stop whining once i start blogging.

not that i want to, i just can't help it.

i shld just bottle up all my feelings and hope that things will be fine.

i really hope so..

2007-02-05T00:51:00.000+08:00

i'm so, so determined to quit la.

the feeling's like, i'm being used. i don't mind a low-paying job, neither do i mind long working hours as i was happy working and learning from others who are far more experienced than i am. but i reli feel so USED that i am being rotated around to replace pple on maternity.. not being able to specialise in something i could have liked or exposed to. reli hate being USED. hate it.

i mean.. wad's the point of holding on when i wasn't given any chance to even be a staff, no opportunity to specialise in something... it sucks la.. some who joined later than me were converted to perm already, and i am left hanging in mid-air still. i feel happy for them as they are all my frenz.. but at the same time, feel so sian for myself.

my prev manager has mentioned to me that they may have new headcounts, and the head of compliance actually asked me when does my contract ends. he'll probably need a new staff too. others could have been talking behind my back, saying that I shld look for a perm job instead of holding on the the company for its reputation. c'mon la, i just wanna clock a 1year experience with the company and leave once i learnt as much as i can. i'm not that desperate to stay on alrite? my only aim is to learn.

it's alrite.. i am still young.. but i just dun feel good about this.. reli felt like crying! i don't like it when pple don't understand me, but i can't be bothered to rectify wadever they have misunderstood.

all the hard work that i have put in is simply not enough to justify for any placement in the office. it's all about luck, and it's just too bad that i don't have it.

fruitful trip~!

2007-01-22T03:55:00.000+08:00

AHHHH.. im back again.. so so so reluctant to leave yaoyao just now!

It was a fulfilling trip. i just wanted to chill, and yes we did that.

Friday

i reached in the morning and had lunch with yao, who left the office and accompanied me before i walked ard in mongkok. i din get much harvest as i'm pretty sick of shopping for bags (since i bought over 10 bags the other time) and earrings (which i may have bought over 50 pairs?). went to the same old places: fa yuen gai, agyle centre, neway city, langham place, nathan road and ladies street. I ended my shopping session early, with just a luggage and some earrings.

I saw this huge poster when i was on my way from Mongkok back to yao's place:

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's janice's 1st concert!!! but the timing is real sucky. march 29th?!?!?! why not wait a week later and i can end my contract and go over for a holiday again! arghz!!! i seriously will go over the weekend if i could get the tickets. YES i'm crazy enough to do that!!!

haha i was on the cab and the uncle was entertaining me. he asked me to visit few times more and i could probably get myself a bf here or marry myself into hk. madness!! haha the uncle was damn nice la, he tot me a trick or two of how to recognise cabs which are taking passengers from kowloon to hk island / new territories and vice versa. real frenly pple.

We went for some steak in this restaurant along soho, and yao drank almost the whole bottle of red wine. i could see tt she was a lil tipsy by the way she walks and the calls she had made to her frenz, asking dem to bring me to club. anyway, we pubbed on our own and then clubbed with her bunch of frenz, and we ended up drunk. luckily the guys were decent and din do anything to us. but anyway, yao tot that i left for home and she left the club, leaving me in there as i was in the restroom. luckily she came back for me! haha. wadever the case, that day was hell! luckily we wun get to see those pple anymore.

Saturday

anyway i got a bad case of alcohol poisoning (heard of that before? diagnosed by my doctor) and totally puked myself to death. i couldnt get anything down into my digestive system, not even plain water. we went to some chinese restaurant but i kept puking throughout the day, until we decided tt i needed some rest and we headed back to the apartment at around 2pm. yao was sweet enuff to offer to buy me some porridge, which i could miraculously eat w/o throwing a single grain out. i bought some donuts from krispy kreme, as yao mentioned that the store originated from UK, where she has studied. THEY WERE WAY TOO SWEET.. reli darn sweet.. even i couldnt finish one donut by myself.

Caramel kreme crunch

Chocolate Iced Glazed

Glazed Cruller

after sleeping for an hour or two, i was all up and ready to go when i woke up at 6pm. Haha wad a way to spend my hols! wasted the whole day away! we went for some jap food.. yummy.. ordered so much that we felt a lil guilty for bingeing since the day i've arrived. but food is the key, so we gulped everything down anyway! the night was slow and easy, we took MTR to causeway bay and shopped in a building near SOGO which is very similar to kuai fong, but i couldnt recall its name. we saw a couple of girls in kimonos and a beefman trying to do something funny (shown in the pic below).

After our walk, we headed to a massage parlour and had a foot reflexology massage, which comes with a 5min back massage. it was damn shiok, esp after days of walking down massive flights of stairs. i tell ya, though yao's place is high-end with lotsa expatriates around, but it is a must for us to climb down several huge flights of never-ending stairs, followed by slopes that you may roll down anytime once you trip over ur own foot in the event that we wanna grab a bite or get to the MTR or to catch a cab. but it's a good form of exercise.. and feet-hurting too!

Sunday

We had Dim Sum at "The Square", which is opposite IFC Mall in Central. we girls were crazy enough to order 9 plates of wadever we find interesting, and stuffed ourselves silly. i think this trip is probably an eating trip for me. i think yao ate alot while i'm over, coz wadever i couldn't finish while i was sick were all eaten up by her. haha

Egg tart with Birds' nest + Radish filled puff

Char Siew Bao

Ok i went APM shopping mall in kwun tong, leaving yao to sleep at home coz she was real tired. i went to find my frenz in the shop in kwun tong and i've gotten their msn. yay! they remembered me and asked me to look for them the next time i come, and they'd probably bring me ard to club n chill. haha

I rushed to mongkok to buy some lao po bing for my colleagues, and it was only after walking for some time that i realised i had been on the wrong street. so i gotta u-turn back from agyle street and head to nathan road. after buying all the necessary stuff, i finally found myself a cab that wanted to go over to hongkong. haha the uncle was surprised that i was smart enough to noe that he wanted to cross the "border". all thanks to the previous uncle! haha! but the bad thing was, the uncle thought that i was a shanghainese, coz he said that i have fair and nice skin. whaha i nearly fainted. my skin is so yucky and sensitive! but anyway he tot that i was married as well, coz he said that i shld hv gotten married by now with my looks and soft-spoken personality. that is so not a compliment la, that means i look old. sian.

yao accompanied me to IFC mall for a quick meal in the "Can.teen". and then she sent me off to the airport express terminal. boohoo! and here i am.. writing crap in the middle of the night.. after a long and boring flight.

but i'm so glad that i went, and luckily yao has enjoyed herself too. i reli hope that she has overcome her bad ordeal, and that she will noe that her frenz will always be there for her. actually my main aim was to see how was she doing, pretty worried that she would still be in a state of depression. but she proved me wrong!

it was reli different from my previous trips whereby i only shopped non-stop everyday. it's reli about slacking and chilling out in our own comfort zone, doing some silly things once in a while based on our mood and not following any schedules at all. that's life!

2007-01-18T22:04:00.000+08:00

*@!(&@!^@%&#@%@&#^@*(&#()!*@)(!&@(*^#&*%@*#&@!(*!

i wanna scream my bloody head off

why are bad things always happening to me

maybe i shld be better off dead. arghz!

back again

2006-12-03T03:03:00.000+08:00

arghhhh

i dun wanna leave hong kong!!! boohoo! i'm back in home sweet home now, and i gotta work again on monday. that's life, isn't it?

i loveeeeeeeeeee HK!!! it's a nice place, with nice pple and nice shopping. i think i'll be going back to HK again real soon hahaha!

the trip wasnt that smooth for us. our flight to HK was delayed from the supposedly 3.45pm to about 5.30pm when the plane took off to our destination. It was around 11pm when we settled down in our hotel. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. we went to Neway city KTV since there was nothing much we can do at that point in time. guess what... we were halfway through a song when these notices popped up and terminated our system temporarily:

1st time in my life that i've encountered such a "raid", with policemen in green-uniforms (just like what you see in HK drama serials) checking the rooms. so we started taking stupid pics.. some of which couldnt be uploaded at the moment:

a not-so-adventurous night, but not for the next few days!

------------------------------------

Day 2

A trip to ShenZhen early in the morning. the queue at the custom was long and we had a hard time bargaining for good deals for lots of accessories and bags. i've gotten myself 2 nice puma bags! fake ones of coz. haha! i was carrying a big bag from shen zhen to HK and the china custom officer requested to check my bag. do i have the suspicious look?!? or did he find me too innocent to be true? hahahahaha

anyway, it was shopping in agyle centre for the rest of the night, as it was already 9+pm after having a good rest at our hotel. We went on our separate ways and i came back with 3 bags. oops. and i got conned by the salesperson. =( the bags are nice but way too expensive, as compared to the ones i bought in fa yuen gai. arghh wasted my money, but the bags are really nice.

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Day 3

We shopped for some accessories in fa yuen gai before heading to kwai fong. it was like singapore's far east plaza. i got a few more bags from the shops, 2 which i particularly love. hehe! peiqi had migraine due to lack of sleep for the past month, so she took a rest in the hotel room while i walked along the streets to take a look around. My only preys that night were a pair of exquisite chopsticks (can't upload the pics!) and Janice's new album!

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Day 4

We had dim sum at one of tsim sha tsui's restaurants and headed down to Granville road for our last shopping. My luggage was too small for my stuff and i bought another carrier cum luggage bag. Din expect to buy so many things during this season. More bags when i visited fa yuen gai and i rushed all the way down to APM alone for my last shopping. hohoho chatted with some sales people in a particular shop. we're of about the same age and there was this guy who was quite cute. hahaha!

rushed back to Mongkok again and we reli made our last shopping dash in agyle centre. we forgot to take pictures of a foodstore in Neway City nx to Agyle Centre which sells cold noodles with a choice of sides (such as sausages, crabstick, quail eggs, squids, etc.) and some sauce. omg the sauce made everything taste so good~!

I saw the Xmas decorations in Harbour City on their local magazines and it looked so nice. We din shop in Langlam Place too, which the salespeople recommended us. actually, we din explore much as we know what we want and we go straight to those places for them.

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Day 5

Time was short and we rushed to the airport at 8.15am. The flight was delayed again but the pilot made up for the lost time by flying a lil faster. But something happened to the registered runway for the plane and we could not land though we're constantly flying above Singapore and Malaysia. So the pilot took us round in circles.. engulfing us in the beautiful white clouds. We felt like we were in heaven. hahaha!

End of story, but not end of my life in HK. hehe i wanna go back agaiN~ due to some error on blogger, i can't upload many pics now. more pics to come in time!

2006-11-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

i dun wanna make the same mistake again, by leaving and regretting.

i need to visit the guanyin temple in sima lu for guidance, or maybe i shld pray and chant more.

2006-10-29T03:59:00.000+08:00

went for a discussion meeting in clementi with my bro. leng, timmy and cannie were there as well. leng gave me a gongyo book and really nice beads. haha pardon me for sounding as if it were an accessory, but i will treasure it leng! as wad i've said, i'll bring it out the nx time and use it in front of u. hahaha. ah cheng said that leng has a motive for doing so and welcome me to their world. ahahaha i think u gotta wait for some time dude.

din dare to tell my parents where we were and wad were we doing. they're die-hard taoists but never once did they ever force us to learn their way of praying and religious ceremonies. the most they'll expect us to continue the line and not disappoint them in their beliefs. i'll see how things go..

things din go too well at work. quite upset actually. but still i managed to pull through - for the moment. been looking burnt out at work recently, tt shuyi has been asking whether is there something wrong with me. sometimes work is simply tiring. it's half-work-half-entertaining that kinda affair. i always tot that i can be on good terms with colleagues from my department as it's a all-female envt and i am more at ease with female colleagues all round the office. but sometimes my blurness may nearly cost me the harmonious relationship with one. she may not mean it la, as one has explained to me that her pattern is as such and asked me not to take it to heart. i've resisted such thoughts for a few weeks, until i reli feel tired of being treated like this. now i've quietened down at work. i seriously dun feel like talking or entertaining anymore.

ahhh rather confused lately. a colleague has been asking if im interested in sales & mkting, but tt would mean sidetracking from wad i've learnt at sch and from wad i am interested in. but then again, i'm seriously having 2nd thoughts in continuing with my line coz i reli dunno wad shld i do.

told meizhen about my regret in poly. about something i've done that i suddenly realised tt it was terribly wrong. i thought i would nv regret it in the past. i tot that i did the right thing. but i guess wadever i've said then was an excuse to make up for my inferiority, to escape from all the discomfort and hardship. i feel like smacking myself for that, but that would do me no good since i can't turn back time.

2006-10-23T03:11:00.000+08:00

one of the guy wore a inflatable swimming trunk - it flares once he got in the water. wad a sight lol!

the "sexy" guy holding the ball nearly made me puke my icecream out.

Our big butts

ECP with ai ai, honey and ping er

2006-10-23T02:57:00.000+08:00

Love story in Harvard

2006-10-23T02:49:00.000+08:00

Kim Rae Won. OOOOH

Kim Tae Hee. Isn't she gorgeous?

My new addiction.

I'm gonna sound like some pervert if i start fawning over her again.

---------------------------------------------------

The drama's great! though i haven finish it. I bet it'll be another nice one after my craze for Full House. Princess Hours would be the next on my list. been watching shows like mad on wkends. how nice to slack my days away like that! haha

swimming in the shallow waters

2006-10-23T02:38:00.000+08:00

in toyrus

2006-10-23T02:24:00.000+08:00

Romantic us

2006-10-23T02:23:00.000+08:00

Missing legs.

Koroppo-like food as the prop

2006-10-23T02:22:00.000+08:00

My girlssss

2006-10-23T02:19:00.000+08:00

Janice & Ping's dinner

2006-10-23T01:56:00.000+08:00

ting's laksa

2006-10-23T01:55:00.000+08:00

my Tom Yum Fish with Glass noodles

2006-10-23T01:49:00.000+08:00

not very appetizing, but i love the glass noodles!

Thai express. not paiseh to say tt it was my 1st visit.

2006-10-23T01:46:00.000+08:00

Candy Empire!

2006-10-23T01:45:00.000+08:00

Vivo City again

2006-10-23T01:44:00.000+08:00

Vivo City

2006-10-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

we ain't any least bit paiseh to pose in front of sooo many passers-by

2006-10-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

it's here again.....

i know it's gonna be alright....

but why can't it leave me alone?

ade.. jiu ming ah...........

--------------------------------------------------------

i reli wanna get out of singapore. be it to study or to work. not an attempt to prove my independence or any sort. it's what i really wanted all along... or is it not? i dunno la. life is so short. i wanna do as many things as i could while i'm still young, dun wanna have any more regrets in my life. but of coz, within my limits. i'm not trying to complain here. nothing ever beats the feeling of contentment im feeling for the way life is now, but sometimes i just feel sick for not being able to do things my way. life's such huh?

2006-10-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

back from hotpot session at xian de lai. so sooo full! but we din eat tt much despite it's a buffet. quite a waste of money actually, but finally i get to taste some edible ma la hotpot. yaoyao was so down, i felt so guilty for rejecting her pleas for me to join her and prissy at clubbing. kinda regret it, knowing wad has happened to her now. n i could hv made frenz from HK and those working in the different airlines. haha

Yay with all the confirmations done, i'll only have to wait till the date comes! though there's just the two of us back there, i don't mind a single tad as it is my land of happiness (other than Japan, that is). the timing we've got isn't as good as my previous visit, in fact it sux to the core. but oh well, anything's fine for a short trip.

been discussing with ade abt unswsia and its courses. oh gosh their fees are so costly! it's definitely not worth it for a pte degree, no matter how recognised the cert is. reli dunno wad to do with our lives. PT studying is the only way to get on with my life, i know it deep in my heart. but that requires so much self-discipline and energy after work, something that i lack for the former and probably even the latter once i get a perm job that needs my full commitment for it. wadever, come wad may. i'm sure i can obtain something i want if im determined enough. since others can do it, why can't i?

oh.. pending mahjong sessions on next mon and sat. hohoho.. after a long day at work on Monday Black, it'll be MJ for the whole night. and we can all rest at home till late noon on the nx day as IT IS A PUBLIC HOLIDAY! so darn happy!

but i'm not happy now, just quarrelled with my dad. i wonder why he can't seem to talk to me nicely. maybe im the one who's not that affectionate as the "perfect daughter" that we always see on the tv. but anyway, things he say drip heavily with sarcasm whether or not he meant it. simply makes my blood boils when im sitting there all quiet and innocent, but get accused of things that u are saying when it has nv came across my mind that way. if u think u noe me to this extent that u can read my mind, you might as well dun talk or dun ask me. come on la. it sounds juz like PMS can. or maybe menopause for him. aiya wadever.

2006-10-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

the haze is back! i was in suntec last night with lina, kane and pris. was amazed when it was hazey even within the interiors of the shopping centres. i could still remember that one night (prob in '97) when i could detect wisps of burning air in the middle of the night. i was happily wishing that sch would be called off the next day or something, but of coz, it din happen. i hate the haze. it never fails to make me cough like crazy whenever my immune system gets a lil out of order.

it was pris' last day with us yday. but she'll still be in raffles place, so we can still meet up for lunch or dinner, with me being the late one! i feel so guilty that they always gotta wait for me during lunch time and starve their poor tummies. whenever i told them i don't have many things to handle n can go off for lunch early or some sort, i always ended up stuck at my desk, following up with urgent cases. it wun hurt to be pantan a lil, i shall stop spouting things like that n it may save me from a hectic day. haha

a 2nd fire drill i have encountered in the same building on wed, and this time round, w/o any notices to us in advance. so, many of my colleagues had to walk down 25 or 27 storeys in their heels. luckily i was in the mood for flats that day, so my thighs were saved from the aches and all! the worst part was, those big shots would walk around, checking that everyone's gone - except for poor lina who has to be at the counter for walk-in customers or to pick up the hotline (or shld i say, lucky in this case) and some other people who are handling urgent matters. maybe i shld hide in the toilet whenever it happens again, but then again, it could be a well-deserved coffee break since it was held at 4+pm. i reli think it's quite bo liao la. i wasnt even in time to close the hk market and we gotta go. and then again, my colleague had to do help me with the closing stuff. LY's so poor thing, having to help out joyce and me. i think she could be the busiest among us. haha

met up hweesun, huishan and timmy for ktv on thurs. shan's zav came along after tim left, so sun and i continued singing and allowed the both of them to tian mi mi in one corner. haha but im kinda sick again and can't sing much that day. oh well, there'll be a next time!

ok.. time for shopping with ai ai~

hell

2006-10-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

today was totally hellish for me.

i met ting for some breakfast, and reached my office half an hour earlier than needed. I thought i could clear up my morning routine by 9am, but unexpected things cock up and i finish them even later than usual.

messed up with the back office again! forgot to send this and that, or faxed things tt shldnt be faxed to them. aiyaaaaaa im dying man!!!! i need more slp! i swear never to repeat those mistakes again!!

i was alone in my office and left super late, wanted to catch a cab back since transportation is free after 9, but THERE WERE NO CABS!!!! irritating cab uncles, always appearing whenever you don't need them and performing their disappearing acts whenever we desperately needed one. i called for cabs but no one HIEW me! i could have reached home half an hour earlier by taking the train if i din waste my time waiting. i think my body's gonna break soon. my ankle's hurting, my back's aching, my feet hurts... AS USUAL.

ahaha received a surprise mail from our german counterpart who's currently studying in england for his MBA. he asked me whether im still going france for my studies, which is a big nono now. he advised me to convince my dad to let me study elsewhere other than SG, but that's so hard la, considering the expenses and my limitations. to be frank, he's quite shuai la. haha charismatic i shld say.

my email system works just like msn messenger, provided that im not bz at the moment upon receipt of the mail. it's always a stress-reliever to be able to chat with frenz or colleagues during work to ease up all the tension. i can be seen floating around on the 25th to different offices to chat with people while i print my information from the systems. whahaa i think i just need to talk, all of them are complaining that im the noisiest contract staff they have seen. haha

my trader's dad passed away yesterday after a fall, and my ex-clsmate's dad passed away few days ago too. ahhhh so sad for them, especially for my fren, but there's nothing i can do. life is so unpredictable, one could lose something or someone overnight. cherish life and appreciate things and people around us! things that i often overlook now seem so significant to me, time and friends are so precious to me now. even if it's just a stroll back home, or a relaxing day out, it could be the greatest pleasure compared to the hours i've slogged at work. i don't mind nua-ing at home too, but it would be so wasted since my only time left in a week are the weekends.

sleeping time!

The Forbidden City vs Full House

2006-10-01T03:04:00.000+08:00

my money wasn't wasted! Forbidden City: Portrait of an Empress was well played. i was kinda overwhelmed by how well they performed, quite impressive. kit chan is reli our national treasure! 雪狼湖 was great too, with both evonne hsu and kit chan's singing, wad more could the audience ask for?

ahhh.. i watched full house again. it's a good thing with having SCV, coz they usually repeat shows that are real good. it brings back memories. i felt so saddened for han zhi en, with how she had to endure all the pain. but this show is reli nice and sweet! funny but sad sometimes, and i wouldnt mind watching it a thousand times over.

blading tml morning, yet im still wide awake. im gonna be so dead tml!

2006-09-30T16:51:00.000+08:00

i went for the dinner buffet at amara hotel with my colleagues 2 thursdays ago. wide range of food they've got: peking duck, sharks' fins, tempura, sushi, sashimi, teppanyaki, desserts and fruits... best of all, it was a one-for-one promotion for the month of sept! haha! i finished work late and reached at around 8, therefore my colleagues watched on as i eat the yummy chocolate truffle cake! but many went for their 5th or 6th rounds, ahaha madness.

hee i feel so lucky to always have my colleagues or frenz to accompany me for lunch. i'll feel sian if i were to lunch alone in crowded places with pple staring at me, aiming for my seat. lunching in would be even more sian. i reli like waimun and caron la, although they always complain tt they are old, but they are only like 4-6 yrs older than me. i'll be like them in yrs to come anyway. not forgetting my old-time buddies yao yao, hammy, kaney and prissy. but sad tt pris will be leaving us on 6th oct. but she'll be working somewhere nearby, so we can still meet up for lunch.

congrats to shuyi for securing a job in db! she was an intern few months back, and working now on a part-time basis on friday mornings only, and a perm staff in future. i wish i had the luck! she even treated me to a meal, haha so paiseh. my colleagues are super nice.. they advised me to apply for a perm position, and one even offered to pathe me a way to the HR dept in case they'll have any positions for me, as the HR dept doesnt know me since im under an agency. gan dong. haha

OH OH.. talking about 6th Oct, it's the mid-autumn festival! brokers and our back offices have been giving us so many mooncakes till it has became our tea-break snack or supper if we stayed back too late for work. wad's best was that some brokers gave us the super delicious mini-snowskin truffle mooncakes from raffles hotel. it was reli the all-time favourite for us for the past 2 weeks, though it wasnt traditional at all. i love the ones with champagne and chocolate!

Raffles Royal China and Sheraton's Li Bai mooncake would be nice to go for if u guys prefer traditional ones. haha it seems like the mooncakes they gave to us are like samples for us before we buy for our family. but it's free anyway. hee!

went night cycling with joycie and hongping last sat.. it was a short trip la.. but it was much better than staying at home, rotting. some exercise would do good for me. tml's blading will bring more fresh air to my brains too.

aahhh i've done a big big mistake at work yday, i caused a trade to be settled with a wrong fixing rate. i hope mon wun be hell for me when my trader found out about it. but the rate was provided by him and i reli dunno why it was different from wad i've gotten from bloomberg. aiya.. wadever.. i shall wait for judgement day to come.

anyway, im gonna watch forbidden city with tomomi later! yay! so excited about the play ahaha. she said it's very nice but i shall not get my hopes too high in case it disappoints me.

and i hope liNe wun have to work nx sat, so we can go for our shopping session! poor thing, fancy her company coming up with some credit card gimmick to attract more customers but with them doing more work. if it fails it would mean that we can go for our regular blading or chilling out sessions. hahaa

bye for now!

2006-09-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

haha it's so zhun, that liNe misses min min moments after i blogged about her.. ahhh in case u guys dunno, adeline and guanmin used to work together with me in Chikuyotei. realized we were all from SP on the 1st day of adeline's work (coz min used to work there after her O's), and wad was amazing was that we were in the same course! din get in to the same class in year 2 but we met up after sch or work together.

so.. that was how the AI AIs were born. the three lesbos! but we don't reli care! Chikuyotei was our world.. and we rule it by sucking GM's money by enjoying work together! ahh.. i actually miss chikuyotei. my locker.. my kimono!

ok.. enough with reminiscing...

arghh i'm super forgetful and i left my phone in my office again! but i din bother to U-turn for it as i dun feel real attached to it now. haha talking about my office, i have 600+ unread emails!! but i still welcome joker mails or something to cheer me up during a long stressful day at work..

my colleague's gonna go on leave soon, leaving me alone at the post. it's gonna be so shorthanded there, but i can't help much. she's gonna transfer all her skills to me within this week. ARHHHHHH.. i think im dying. she has been doing it for ard 2 years and me for 2 wks.. i will screw up for sure, i know it.

i need to upgrade myself. NUS probably wouldnt wan me, dun even noe whether i shld try or not. i shall also hunt for places that can rong na me and my ai ai.. so that we will be together forever. haha but we probably will be spending all our pay away on shopping and stuff. I NEED TO SAVE!

2006-09-18T23:41:00.001+08:00

went out for the whole day with ai ai for some retail therapy on sat. best for 2 women in depression. haha. liNe got some harvest for her fren's wedding but i din reli shop. i need to get my pay first. long time since we're out on our own, haha the ai ais unite! and we haven been going out with guanmin for quite some time. miss the good old days.

we watched john tucker must die. quite a nice n funny show. it's kinda disgusting that john tucker three-timed the girls, but we shall forgive him since he is so cute!

sun was ktv time! the guys were out! and not wanting to be the only girl in the group again, i managed to drag shan and sandy out to join us all for some venting-frustration session. cheng left early and hongping was there to entertain us. ahaha ping er entertained us with some cockster stories which always seem available at the tip of the fingers. and the retarded look he gave every now and then while narrating to us the stories of the poor recruits, it just sent us laughing like hell! hahaha

eewei joined us for dinner, and SHE went to Ice Cold for some soccer session. hs's a chelsea fan but there seemed to be more liverpool fans around us, but she cheered on for her favourite team anyway. and we're planning to go bangkok when ping er got his leave. i wonder if i can get mine. i just wanna leave SG for the time being, feel so stuck.. luckily i have my frenz with me.

haha guess it was just suay, ew and aiai. being used or not respected is not a way to lead our lives. girls should wisen up and kick the asses off these people, we have our pride as well. in case you don't know: im a 100% feminist.

back

2006-09-11T01:43:00.000+08:00

back from ping's bday celebration! hee had a great time EATING.. n chatting with frenz. saw edeline and her sis. her sis was so damn funny in the youtube video la. din see ede after so many years and realised both of us have changed. haha for the better, of coz. candice joined us too.. she's damn funny oso la.. always suanning janice together with us. haha cool.. we can jio her to ktv as well.. yay im gonna plan one for us gers soon!

ping was so beautiful in her dresses! a necklacey headset with a greenish dress for the afternoon party, and a tiara with her white dress for the night. a glamourous day, especially with janice as her hairstylist, mani-pedicurist and image consultant, nothing can go wrong. janice is real good with such things! our saviour! coz im juz like a manual worker who only knows how to do work like clearing up and stuff. haha

i din join the gers to stayover at ping's place the night before, as i got a terrible headache for the whole day and slept from 7+pm till 11am on sunday. i think tt was due to an accumulation of lack of slp. real tired.

hope tt ping ping will love the pressies! glad tt she liked the necklace! hahaa

anyway, i think it's enough la. just feel very tired of everything all of a sudden, and i wanted things to stop and just forget about it. yea it's time i let go of msn, once and for all. haha.. so pple.. dun miss me ah

2006-09-07T01:10:00.000+08:00

haha ok pple..

pps was saying she realized many pple are blogging about unhappy stuff. so i'm gonna start blogging only about happy things too! tt won't bore you guys then. ok.. will be back for more updates after our dear gwenie's bday! not forgetting my phuture, rollerblading and ktv sessions~

mr kimheng told me about a very scary ghost story he encountered back in bangkok. i wonder why did he frequent bangkok nowadays. from wad i heard from him, it's like at least 3 times since the start this year already? madness. he probably kept some mistresses over there, not to be exposed. some bapoks maybe. haha

something knocked from the outside of his balcony door, from his hotel room located on the 25th storey. his curtains were opened and he saw nothing outside. no wind, no nothing, only absolute darkness. faint. for 2 nites, and worse still, he was alone. i think i will cry n run out like some siao char bor if it continues lor.

though superstitious, i do knock hotel doors before i enter as we could be trespassing our hao xiong dis' territories. better play safe than sorry. haha! he mentioned about changing rooms if there are sweets or stuff placed underneath beds, as they could be offerings for the cartoons.

luckily i din experience anything like this back in any hotels i've slept in. i probably slept as dead as a log then. but orh mi tor for.. i wouldnt wanna encounter anything like that again! the voices outside my window have freaked me out more than once!

our soon-to-be bday ger!

2006-09-06T02:18:00.000+08:00

Thx Liping!

thx for hearing me out.. all the whining and stuff. and sorry to have taken ur beauty sleep away from ya..

wadever you've said is true: i am simply silly.

sometimes it's quite torturous. you told me about your incident and i am rather sickened too. it just got me wondering what is wrong with them la. are they kukus or some idiots. anyway, it doesn't matter now la.

i'm gonna try my best to get myself outta this from now on, since i'm dumb enough to fall right into it in the first place. it's gonna be hard, but i'll try as i promised. it's all for my own good, isn't it?

we talked about wad i've said in the past, about wanting to climb up the corporate ladder and work, work, and work. yea i was quite cynical then, wanting to be independent on my own and not wanting to rely on others. i think i was just weak la. i know that i can be so dependent on one that it could do me more harm than good. i think i need more reassurance from pple i care about now as i grow older. im not used to relying on others but at the same time, it's a comforting issue to me as i don't like to show others that i needed help.

haha i think i've been crapping alot recently. think i shld probably close down my blog n start writing in a diary instead.

no more slacking days

2006-09-01T02:37:00.000+08:00

i'm starting work tml! so.. no more late nights.. no more msn (not as often).. n lesser updates here. unless i'm pissed or happy, that is.

met up with ping (baby 3) n jan (mama) for the chalet on the 22nd. just 3 of us, but we took many pte and confidential pics tt i will not be exposing here. but pretty glad that they were so on and we made the night so enjoyable. i taught jan MJ and we ate alot can, all of us are pigs!! i brought my cake there and both baby3 and mama said it was nice. PHEWWW~ i tot they wouldn't like it, and i'm happy that they wanna taste it again nx time!

haha jan said tt ting is the most act cute person ever in our group, so she's given the honour to be crowned baby 1, i'm the 2nd but sorry, i dun ACT cute. i am already pure and innocent. haha! pics coming up soon.

went ECP with ping, ting n jan on the 25th. haha they cycled way in front of me, and i was trying my best to catch up with them when this scary man chatted with me. I couldn't blade fast enough and he managed to turn up beside me whenever i sped. i wanna cry can!! suay enough to have kua tio gui. but besides that, we had alot of fun taking lotsa pics with stupid poses. had a great laugh!

yaoying's bday on the 26th. was late again, as guangzhu had been "whining" non-stop on the mic hahaa. i bumped into jan n her bf, and we took some time chatting before meeting up with pps and liying, causing them to wait for me for quite some time. only the 3 of us from our class turned up. the rest were pple from her sec sch and relatives. it was quite isolated from the rest of the world that i was afraid we would hv difficulties getting out. i tot it would be quite near changi V so tt i can get some supper back on the way, but it seems otherwise and there wasn't any buildings recognisable enough for us to identify. luckily yy's uncle drove us back to yishun. saved us from unnecessary cab-spending. it was Mahjong after that with jan and ting, coz the aunty pps had itchy fingers again! i've been losing~ but i'll treat tt as tuition fees. haha

PPS n shan treated me to Waraku on the 29th. Thanks gers for the great meal. i love jap food! ahhaa and the sets were so filling. we had gelare icecream after that, but shan ordered a waffle as well. never underestimate her stomach, her appetite nv lose out to guys! haha timmy has been spending alot of money on good food after working with shan too much. they'll be joining me for lunch tml! yay! back to the familiar place after such a long break..

I visited mz's place today to sign her birthday book before she fly for aussie at night. she's gonna celebrate her bday with her bf in aussie and will be there for a month or more. i'll be having one less dinner and movie kahki for the next few weeks. met up with ting and qi after that. we bought ting a pendant made of silver and gemstones, mainly moonstone and garnet. i chose the design and i think it's damn nice, even much nicer than my rosequartz.

and i baked cookies last night! but they were quite hard after being over-baked, as i've forgotten about my cookies while watching cardcaptor sakura, my all-time favourite since young. haha call me childish all you want, at least i am young at heart!

oh and i hate the ATM machines. i dunno why tt sometimes when i deposit money, my money will not be credited into my account. it has been the 2nd time already. and now that a cheque has been deposited days ago, it wasn't in my account as well. i think i am suay, i must have fan-ed tai sui this year.

i've been having moodswings again lately. i can't figure out wad's true and wad is not at certain times. sometimes i juz feel confused and messed up with my life. im afraid of losing, losing something or maybe someone impt to me. haha i need a guiding light.

2006-08-26T00:12:00.000+08:00

i feel like complaining but i juz dunno wad to complain about.

aiya.. forget it.

2006-08-22T04:25:00.000+08:00

my 4th or 5th attempt making a chocolate cake, and i've reached a conclusion..

That i gotta take up some baking lessons.

Pretty sad that my cake ended up soso only. I need to bake nice cakes, not as fanciful as the ones shown in The Gateux Affairs, but at least a soft and spongey one, soaked in chocolate mousse or fudge. Ahhhh i dun mind a truffle cake as well.

and i burnt my hand while checking on the cake. argh!! i always seem super occupied while baking, occupied with scolding and grumbling, that is. my bad habit, i know. i like to yak at pple sometimes. ok. that is so leo. haha shan sent some email regarding horoscopes and their descriptions and stuff. quite true, for some of the characteristics. it'll be scary that everyone born in the same month are similar to me in constitution of our personalities.

i fumbled with the cake-baking steps alot, either forgetting the eggs or din pre-heat the oven. tt was when i decided i needed some lessons badly. i wouldnt wanna feed my frenz with another mooncake-taste-alike cake (according to ade, sher, joyce and shan).

Putting this matter aside, i'm supposed to go chalet today, but ping and ting are sick. qi's ligaments are still swollen. quite bad timing actually. probably won't be going for it, though it's already paid for. luckily we got it cheap. the girls need their rest and we wouldn't enjoy it with them suffering there.

been msn-ing and solitairing nowadays. not in any mood to shop, probably coz i spent too much money in HK and still haven recuperate from my loss of income. hahaa a big hole in my pocket as well as my bank account now. looking forward to work now, hahaa now that money has become the key motivation.

met up with my relatives on sun for a family dinner. celebrated my eldest aunt's and grandma's bdays, which coincide on the very same day. they treated me and my siblings to a great dinner. we had sashimi. the dish's Geoduck, some ugly looking sea-creature which looked half-shelled and another half with a resemblance of an elephant trunk. quite like a sea monster actually. the sight of seasnails din irk me as i've taken escargots before with david n darren. but still.. i dun reli like such delicacies, thx but no thx. i had crabs for 2 days consecutively. chilli crab out with ade, sher and libin after our rollerblading session, and black pepper with my relatives. ooooh big juicy flesh! yummY!

luckily the dinner turned out fine. i was expecting some big event like a banquet or wad, and that all those stupid uncles of mine are gonna show up and ask me stupid questions like "so where are u studying now?" or "why are u not in uni?" or "where are your parents" that kinda qns. i will simply smack the truth into their faces that YEA im not a uni student, SO WAD? i need not be some farking uni student to experience life out there, or to be able to contribute to the society. i'll do it my way to work my way up and get myself a pte degree. and even if ur farking rich, i dont reli give a damn coz firstly, im not the one spending ur money, and 2ndly, i despise those who look down on others, especially if they aint half as rich as u were, or din get degrees like your children did.

from wad i rmb, we only keep in contact with 3 aunts, out of 7 or 8 of them. the aunt closest to us had passed away, leaving my eldest aunt on our side. it's like a battlefield with those pple out there, if u'll ask me. so i'd prefer to keep my life simple w/o contacting most of them. but i will definitely keep in touch with my cousins and eldest aunt! coz cousin number 1 (oops forgot her name, sally or sth else?) has got this super duper cute daughter! my niece's 3 yrs old but she's super smart and knows how to entertain pple by being the family clown. most imptly, she can get along with everyone and often mimicks our conversations. a smart aleck, but a real smart one at tt. hahaa.. she loves soap operas and performed for us at the table. a cute lil darling, i shld say. my aunt and cousin invited me to their houses to laze around some day. i wonder how their gardens look like. any bit like secret garden? i loved reading tt book when i was young, and i still do now.

ok. done with the complaints. time to slp now. ciao!

2006-08-14T07:03:00.000+08:00

i think i must have lost my mind. i shld get it back on track now. bring myself back to the realistic world. goodbye naiveness. n hello to the old sarah. =/

Time to crap again..

2006-08-14T03:37:00.000+08:00

ok i have lotsa free time now. Though i did mention tt i was super irritated juz now, but i feel uneasy if i can't talk! So it's time to hear, or rather, watch me rant on and on about things that are happening in my life.

Saturday (12/08/06)

I went to Shivani's bday bash at Begonia Ballroom in Downtown East (Pasir Ris). Actually, i wasn't cordially invited but stupid shuaiji asked me to go, so i took a cab down since i was super late! It turned out that i was the earliest, and worst of all, the present was reli shared among 8 of us. i felt paiseh can.

and i was cheated by stupid GuangZhu that it was a 10 course meal when it was in fact a buffet. the lights were dimmed and it was so quiet all around when i blurted "BUFFET?!?!" after the emcee announced to us. ahaha so paiseh! saw many pple tt i have not seen for quite some time. zaishan, yongsheng n hanwei. Zaishan had wanted to go ice-skating after the last time we went. ok.. i shall organise one for the zaishan fans. hahaha

initially i thought it was some catered food to a chalet, and was planning to go straight after my blading session in my shorts, being all dirty and sweaty. how lucky i din show up like that!

Anyway, i joined my clsmates for some food in esplanade's Shima Aji. missed the fireworks. oh well, there's always next year. Hongping and I saw mz outside esplanade. haha mz was his sec sch gd fren, and mz's my pri sch super bestest fren! the world is so qiao!

We had apparently walked the wrong way back to Pan Pacific to retrieve han's n joycie's car, as we took ard an hr to get to the hotel. haha the guys turned mad while we headed past millenia walk. They acted as if they were soldiers in action, with imaginary rifles in hand and looking out for ambush-ers. and they threw this imaginary grenade and all four splited and jumped in different directions. ping er and ah cheng laid on the floor, with their rifles aimed to the front. WHAHAHAHA!!! WAH LAO EH i seriously dunno how to describe the funniness of that scene. we laughed like a bunch of hysterical pple who have lost their marbles, breaking the silence and the romantice moments of some couples.

i was desperately in search of a bottle of mineral water for the whole walk but din manage to buy any. There was a 7-11, a closed 7-11 in citylink. What's the point of being a 7-11 when it isn't 24hrs! except to exploit more money from poor public like me.

We finally settled in wala wala in Holland V for some drinking and craps as usual. but i din drink, as i wasn't feeling well and felt giddy. 5.90bucks for a glass of coke? ur kidding me man! i was cheapo enuff to buy a can of coke from the vending machine situated just across the bar, and drank it on the spot while shan chatted with me. Lastly, we had supper at upper thomson (prata again) and of coz! my milo dinosaur! Yummy i simply love to munch on the milo! hahaha

-----------------------------------------------------

Yes i have been officially jobless for more than a month, but gonna be back on my work position soon, on the 1st Sept. These past few weeks were not boring at all, and will not be in the next few weeks. My itinery has got programmes lined to the next 2 weeks already!

Blading with the 06-ers is a must on Saturdays or Sundays, as planned by me and liNe. Also, a trip to JB with ping & janice. Actually, i'm quite freaked out at the idea of going in to Msia. I'm not a country-ist, but it simply seems dangerous to me. Min and PPS both wanted to treat me to international buffet and japanese food respectively. SEE... my frenz know me well. Food is the key to my heart! lolz

i seriously think tt i'm dun behave like a girl sometimes. tables are always full of food whenever i'm with the 06-ers or SHE, or my ai gers. We gers dun mind our image at all.. not tt i had any in the first place. It's great to be able to enjoy food! I'm gonna hv regular cycling, blading n running sessions soon. So.. food.. food.. and more food pls! =)

Yay i'll be going over to janice's place for some mani-pedicure and some fondue-making session later. after which would be tea-drinking & chatting session. wah, envious of us? hee.. a jobless soul and 2 zuobo uni students make a food-feasting group of trio.

Before i forget, i gotta thank all my girls (Liping, Liting, Xueli, Elaine, Janice & Peiqi) for giving me the watch from solvil titus, endorsed by my sammi cheng! It's reli pretty, a nice pearly white for its face. My favourite! but i have no picture of it at the moment. haha!

We had our dinner at sakae heeren, and we took lotsa pictures on the ground level of heeren, riding on and fondling the cows from Vila'ge. Passers-by were looking at us, a crazy bunch, but we couldn't be bothered. I had a hard time climbing up a cow in my denim skirt, and poor janice had to sacrifice her leg for me to step on before i could get on the cow. hahaa most of us managed to get up the cows successfully, except for ping, who banged into the cow TWICE. hahaha made us laughed like shit can!

We ended up in Maestro for more food!!! whahaha chocolate fondue to share, an iced coffee float for me and a certain frappe for ting (couldn't remember its long name). a sinful meal, but fulfilling! hee. SEEE LAH!!!! tt's wad i was trying to prove to u pple.. i think i'm sliding from my Shu Nu's position.. gosh.

and thx peiqi n liting.. for the esprit lanyard tt i wanted to buy from HK but din due to lack of HKD. and the nice gold-and-white pearl bracelet which peiqi has given to me from her shop.

Ok.. i complained to pps, ah shan, liting, ping, and kimheng abt the smart donkey. ahaha i juz feel tt it's a bad feeling to be taken for granted sometimes. but i juz dun understand why she (i think they would be a better word) can do this to me again and again. it's ok given a one-time situation, but not acceptable to me since it has been recurring since god knows when!

they seemed more like acquaintances after graduation despite our many years of friendship. It could be different likings and our inability to accomodate to one another. I'm never a clubber like them. neither am i a smoker. n i am definitely not their ATM machines, there for them to withdraw but never to replenish. yes i've sorted my thoughts and i know who are my real frenz and who ain't. shld heed liNe's advice n not be bullied by pple always.

Now.. i love all my frenz!! for all those who celebrated with me and gave me presents, those who gave me wishes, or simply gave me the company whenever i needed it and bother to entertain me at all. cheers!!

DBF1A01 - DBF2A07 - DBF3B07

2006-08-14T03:13:00.000+08:00

DBF07 proudly presents...... Brother Bear!

Our rich but not bratty Handoyo Sudarga/Handodo

The background is so so familiar, our Sch of Biz. I miss foodcourt 6!

I bet he will cry on the plane when he sees this photo album again.

It's full of our memories. Full of us! and i wrote an ESSAY for him can.

The horse on his chest cried for lotsa attention back in sch.

As wad he always says, "Charge it to the Sudarga account."

Charge the air tix to San Francisco to ur account and we'll be there over the summer and winter to accompany U!

The drivers! Twinny and Han-dy!

Honey and I. Perfect lightings for the two Shu(2) Nu(3)s!

At Wala Wala in HV.

HV! one of the fav hangouts of our cls dur' sch times, when twin & han wld drive us ard.

those were the good old days..

After-grad celebrations

2006-08-14T02:52:00.000+08:00

Our ah ma, who can eat up a whole cow!

Joycie & Lana Ling

They din wait till i come! boohoo!

Graduation!! But i wasn't there..

2006-08-14T02:26:00.000+08:00

2006-08-14T02:17:00.000+08:00

Meng meng & ash, with their signature handsigns. Ash looks quite gay here, duncha agree?

2006-08-14T02:14:00.000+08:00

2006-08-14T02:11:00.000+08:00

2006-08-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

the last lecture by bclow a.k.a RICKY

2006-08-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

getting ready for the army?

2006-08-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

The guys from Singular Club.. with the absence of our poor ah boo (who tore his ligaments and must recuperate at home) and the exception of marcus and ah cheng and hadi, who are happily attached!

2006-08-14T01:02:00.000+08:00

My girlssss.. JALESH (w/o me and leng) + Lana Ling

2006-08-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

i'm ~~so, so, sooo~~ so damn bloody farking irritateddddd!!!!

- end of story -

2006-08-07T19:08:00.000+08:00

ahhhhh fireworks!!!!!
and yes, i wanna watch fireworks!! reminds me of HK disneyland. hahaa fireworks that spurted out from the castle. NICE!

quite a busy week ahead. there's alot of stuff to do. i'm not working and i shld be slacking. i feel myself drained of energy everyday after getting sick.

handodo is leaving for the states on the 16th and im supposed to plan the farewell wkend. but i seriously have no idea where to go and what to do. headache.

oh yea the smart donkey pissed me off again!! haha i complained to many people already, so i shan't grumble anymore. i am shu nu!

2006-08-07T04:44:00.000+08:00

i..
can't..
sleep...

HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

=(

expectations = disappointment

2006-07-31T04:21:00.000+08:00

okie, i figured i had better do this in case someone says that i am ungrateful. shuaiji sent their representative, ~~guangzu~~ GuangZu to get a nice pendant from citigems (haha my customers commented tt it's nice too) and he was kind enough to have chia-ed me a meal. ~~clara~~ Clara too, got me a lipgloss from a brand that i've never heard before, knowned as Paul and Joe, but its design and colour are pretty~ as shu nu as me~ lolz. so in turn, i will chia them back when i get my next pay lor, as agreed! don't say don't have lah. ~~ade~~ Ade aiai oso got royce chocolate for me, coz she knows that chocolates are my favourites! haha i like all the pressies can. thanks to all lah!

worked in chiku just now. arghhh i hv a weathered stomach now, and i felt nauseous for 2 days already. but work has gotten my condition off my mind. gotta smile and entertain customers, like some geishas. but dun worry we are decent geishas hahaa. some customers chatted with me and asked me stuff about school and things like when do i plan to get married. hmm possible MCPs who felt that women shld just get married at a super young age and do wad? moan everyday at home upon their husbands' return from work? eeyerr.. but they are overall nice customers so i shan't complain. have seen worse situations where those pple are just too er xin or hao lian to describe.

had "dinner" with tomomi after work, and i realized that i din take any food for the whole day. the supper came at a heavy price, tonnes of fats to shed off after this night. i reli need to jian fei.

tomomi's contract with chikuyotei will end next march, and she'll most probably be heading back japan for a break before finding a new job in singapore. YAY! she suggested for me to save up now for the trip! so happY!! it'll be the blooming season for the cherry blossoms then! they are such a pretty sight!! i shld brush up on my japanese now! hee.. excited! need not worry about losing my way, as i have a free tour guide by my side! haha

i'm having moodswings on and off again. i hate myself for that. somehow, i just can't control myself and act normal at times, tt's becoz i dun like to act. haiz. maybe i need to get a brain transplant. something is so not okie with me. ade.. we would probably need to have another gers' night out at cosybay soon.. willingly to be digged by one another on our deepest secrets again. haha i dunno why, but that place is real comfortable and never fails to set the mood right whenever we feel sianed half by everything.

sometimes, i just wonder is it best not to have any expectations at all lest the disappointment gets one down.

i am no mahjong queen.

2006-07-30T07:11:00.000+08:00

played mahjong with pps, ting and han just now. and I SURRENDER!!! i've given up hope when debts kept piling and the luck just simply wasn't with me. all that about being lucky as the bday girl! nothing but bullshit!! ahahhaa but anyway, i'm not into gambling so i shall stop playing MJ for at least 1 month and roller-blade instead. YAAAAY! i've finally bought my own pair of blades! shall meet up with 06-ers for regular skating and cycling at sentosa or ECP. not gonna let my money go to waste like tt!

ohh.. ai ai, sher and jean was officially introduced to my bro, knowned as the "break-voice man" to them. haha he shld be honoured to be surrounded by so many "aunties" while having our meal at vila'ge. i felt like i'm a mum taking my over-aged kid out. i will kill myself if someone calls me AUNTY or refer my bro as my son. yea they celebrated for me with a small chocolate cake from bakerzin. hee nice! thanks ah! but i got a severe hangover from the previous night that i felt like puking for the whole day! arghh terrible. yea i noe.. i shldnt drink tt much coz of a weak stomach. somehow i just don't listen. arghh SLAP ME!

oh yea. the shuaiji (including clara) celebrated with me too! ahaha quite shocked but appreciate tt. had steamboat at marina south but there wasn't any crabs for us. no value for money! oooh. some guys actually visited the raw gym to know more in depth about their non-heterosexual counterparts. quite cool but kinda disgusting at the same time. i wanna visit some les pubs man. i figured tt i will be stunned if i enter into some gay pubs, so i shall make do with les pubs. anyone interested to visit it some day? haha

ok. i'm quite fed up with some stupid matters at home, stupid reasonings about stuff that i am not even supposed to be involved in. so it is my fault that she doesn't come home and doesn't reply to my sms or avoid our calls for days, and i deserved to be yelled at for tt? sometimes, i'm just super sick of having to judge their baseless and unnecessary arguments. it's not my job to do so, but i felt obliged to, being the eldest. i'm not saying here that i'm noble or wadever, but sometimes i just wish that the burden wouldn't be on me. i am always supposed to be there to be the peace-maker and solve things out. can't they do so in the first place on their own by actually COMMUNICATING. i have to repeat and make the points clear to each of them so tt they actually cool down n LISTEN. i mean before they even start the quarrel, they shld have listened in the first place and i need not do something so tedious. just imagine. i must be there to hear their stands and make a judgement on who's right and wrong. and if i were to comment, they would flare up again, now AT ME, for not supporting their views. c'mon man. i have my own things to do. i could be chatting with frenz online, but it's my time and i'm entitled to do so. and now it has become my fault if i don't appear immediately at the scene of the quarrels, or if i appeared as if i am not willing to do anything about it. just spare me from all this agony. it's suffocating me!

2006-07-29T05:19:00.001+08:00

I lost track of what have I been doing for the past few weeks or months. yes.. meeting up with my colleagues and 06-ers are a norm. had been rotting at home for so many days that I feel myself getting more and more wasted. haha i've got some offers to work.. but i think i wouldn't wanna do something that i won't be committed in. the company is good, but the job scope is not what i really want. my colleagues have been advising me agst it as they feel that there is not much prospects in whatever i would be doing. haha.. so i shall just slack my life away for the moment. unless attica's ready to take me in.

ohh tomomi told me that GM's asking me back as their full-timer, with a not-bad pay but i'm not gonna be a waitress all my life, whether it's a managerial position or not. i think the place has sucked me dry of my youthness in SP that i feel myself having no life at all during the whole of year 1 and 2.

hongping and ric called me when they were in their camps. telling me about the days in there and what can we do when they are out. haha i wonder how do they look like when they are botaks!

Alright.. a big thanks to all frenz out there who gave me a simple bday wish, or celebrated or bought gifts for me. Surprisingly, some people whom i don't expect to contact suddenly approached me again. shocked the hell outta me. hahaa. mr weiming has became investment-oriented and it was quite nice discussing finance with him. i shld brush up my knowledge again some day. jackson contacted me to poach me into his team of agents as well. oh well.. i just feel tt insurance ain't for me. so sad, but true. but i felt quite guilty tt i switched agent, though he din blame me for it but he asked for the reason why. AWKWARD.

ok. good news is i'm going back db to work. clubbed with zhichuan and a guy fren of hers just now. alrite many disgusting guys somehow found a way to touch us. farking idiotic desperados. but no point screaming for help now. at least joey was there to protect us as much as possible. forget it. i'm simply disgusted and sickened. whatever. it doesn't matter now.

HK

2006-07-07T20:23:00.000+08:00

hey pple.. im leaving for HK.. hehe!

anyway, my clsmates (guys) reported at tekong this morning/afternoon for a couple years of imprisonment, and 1 in his changi camp. hohoho we will miss them man. no KTV with them for at least a few weeks! and handodo is leaving us for US! ahhhhh why is everyone leaving ussssss? =(

And thanks for the concern frenz, i have recovered from my sadness (finallY). no longer so weak anymore. haha i'm kinda numbed by everything that has happened actually. sometimes, it's wise to actually follow your heart than mind u noe? like when i was debating should i quit my previous job to this, i was actually weighing how much i could learn at both sides and decided that the training could possibly provide me with more hands-on. but on the other hand, i felt so so so reluctant to leave and reli felt like i shld forego this chance instead in order to stay in the environment that i love so much. yea so moral of the story: i shan't let my mind rule too much in future, coz i tend to think too much.

anyway, the reason why i felt so gek was becoz i actually planned to stay for good in the previous job and see whether there are any chances of advancement to other areas in the company if they have positions open to internal staff. but anyway, tt was reli my plan tt was why i din wanna let go. and now that i've met the new staff (she's real hot!) and both my traders, i'm not too sure whether i can go back but i think that ger gotta go back to her studies. so.. maybe i'll have a chance back! ahha ok forget abt this matter, i'm so over it now. shall not bore u guys with my complaints anymore.

i missed graduation last night and the gang was grumbling about it.. sorry pple.. i know i shld hv went la.. but i reli lai bu ji informed my traders about it. i wanted to take one last final graduation pic with u guys but i missed the chance. =(

had dinner at some french restaurant in specialist shopping centre. wow the ambience was great, and it would be inappropriate not to have wine in there, coz the wine were all screaming "DRINK MEEEE!!" to us ya noe. was waiting for soooo long for my main course as my clsmates were all waiting for me. rushed down to indochine wisma to see them for the last time but everyone went home after i came!! and tt stupid ash siam even before i came! tsk tsk!

soooo.. er wei, leng and i proceeded to alley bar for some gers' talk. haha and i ended up sleeping after i got home. i am reli gone case.

crybaby

2006-07-01T03:23:00.000+08:00

by looking at the title, i guess most of you know what i'm gonna biatch about next.

i feel so so damn cheated!!! :(

i've been crying so much for the past few days that i won't ever doubt again if someone ever says "women are made of water". tears automatically sprang to my eyes whenever one mentions or asks me about my previous/current job. i couldn't help but feel so cheated about it. so GEK about it. so sad about it. it's harder to hold on to my tears than actually working in my current job. sorry guys i may have scared you all, ahaha but i din mean to spoil the mood. i seriously couldn't help it! i think the male colleague sitting nx to me could have been freaked out by me throughout the whole 2 hours after lunchtime, as i've been crying non-stop and he saw and heard it, and turned occassionally to check on whether i'm still crying. haha oops.

i wonder what's holding me on to my previous workplace. okok. to say it materialistically, everything's great! the flat-screen monitors, bloomberg/reuters stations, 2 big big flat-screen tv for news, my huge table that was possibly 1.5 to 2 times the size of my current hideout, the nice toilet where we can view the top of town (the toilet i hv now is super stuffy n very hawker-centrish), a orangey brightly-lit pantry with nice sofas and unlimted supply of any drinks u can think of. not all, maybe most. Milo, Lipton/Peppermint Lipton/Chinese/Green tea, Nescafe Mix/Powder, Black coffee, Perrier water, Coke/Coke Light/Sprite, Orange/Cranberry Juice, Red wine........ and the beauty of it? All FOC! the staff benefits were real good. just imagine, a coffee machine for 7 over grand dollars, catering super nice coffee such as cappuccino and latte and some other things tt i dun reli know how to spell.

But u guys can't convict me of materialism alright. although there is a strong pull attraction due to the luxurious factor, the main concern for me would be how i feel about the work environment, as in if i hate my work (like wad i used to feel towards sch in poly yr 1 n 2), i will dread it and will not enjoy going to work at all. i will find all kinds of excuses to be late or not attending work, or best still, CHANGE job.

i love the people there. it's not about a "fetish for foreigners", although i love speaking with them as it reli helped in deproving my singlish. some of the people are like family to me, i don't mind showing them silly and stupid things that i usually do, like teh-ing or moaning (dun think crooked, i only do tt to gers but i'm not a les). i can safely say 80% or more of the pple made me feel real comfy with them around me. via conversations and some talking-cock sessions, they made me feel like i reli belong there, striving hard in work like every one of them.

i love the job and i was learning on it, and i simply love going to work. It's just the kinda feeling whereby i don't reli know how to describe. like.. i wouldn't mind working on wkends, even on sundays for this job. been alone in the office on a sunday and was slowly devouring every sight of the office from my seat. even took pics of them (coz that was my last week of work). i wouldnt mind coming in early and leaving later than the perm staff. i wouldnt mind having to lunch-in to do work. i wouldnt mind not getting a bonus at the end of the year but still continue with my job. i wouldn't mind if i have to do lotsa staring in to the screen full of numbers and figures. i wouldn't mind having to quit my current job now just to get back my previous one, but it's all too late.

Company A said that i can have a chance to become a TD, but it was way outta some of our expectations. Company A had the cheek to remind me to learn managing my expectations. HELLO?? it was stated clearly that we were going to be a TD, but it turned out otherwise. and no, u din tell us beforehand that we may not get what we expected. You shld be the one learning how to keep your word. Anyway, i have to be in Company B for 1 mth. long and draggy huh? worst part was, i actually gave up my job for this chance which i thought i could learn more and may have prospects in the long-run for me due to the many benefits Company A has promised, but failed to deliver.

how nice, how great. i don't feel like celebrating my 21st bday anymore. i thought i would be happy this year. i don't think so now. i feel very miserable. i wanna return to my job..... terribly.

hahaha

2006-05-31T23:17:00.000+08:00

everyday is like a fresh new start.. it's just hard to be normal. i'll start acting like an idiot, i would probably look dumb then. lack of control over language and words, i would probably sound dumb then! hahaha ai ai only u know wad im talking about heh!

gers' night out

2006-05-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

ok last friday we had our gers' nite out. met up with adeline, sherlyn, jean, libin and hweesun after work.

oh before getting to them, let's talk about the incident when i got conned by a chinaman, which concluded that chinamen SUX!

he cheated 12bucks from me! claiming tt he needed money for transport to the airport to fetch his boss, and a decent meal to fill his stomach. i dunno am i KIND hearted or simply too gullible to listen to his bullshit. i even stopped to listen. after passing him the money and turning to leave, he actually called me back and claimed tt i look like his people. SORRY DUDE. i dun take tt as a compliment at all, and ur not gonna get more money outta me for ur accommodation. you can jolly well sleep in changi airport, will ya? anyway, it's FOC.

ok we had our dinner at macs, and then walked all the way to clarke quay, only to find most places bustling with people and left with no seats. not wanting to wait for an hour, we decided to settle down in Indochine. oh well, i like to chill out but i dun reli like tt place. not a good place to reli chill out, i feel.

haha libin was saying tt we were too young to chill out, but i beg to differ. alright, we could be too young for certain places, but i still need quality time to chill out and slack. i think tt is just part of my life man. but whether it's chilling out with frenz or colleagues, i love the time i spend with them! talk cock sessions and catching up on one another's lives. ok nx on our list: Rollerblading.

YAY YAY YAY! i finally got my oven from meizhen's mum! she sold it to me at a super low price. reli feel thankful to her! i think it saved me a hundred or even more. hehe watch out for more updates on the success of my baking!

changes

2006-05-30T21:40:00.000+08:00

people change, don't they?

take me for example, i used to hate watermelons and avoid milk coffee (those from coffeebean n spinelli) at all costs! sorry but i'm a fan of theirs now.

one of my best frenz is evolving too.. hahahaha.. ok not that drastic but well, it was definitely shocking to some out there. ade isn't stressed at all at work, which is great! i guess she could have expected worse, but things weren't as bad as she had thought. maybe she has reli grown up, as wad she had said. haha

i can feel myself changing. sometimes i am just so tired that i super dun feel like talking. simply wanna slp the tireness away. im not even sure where all those tireness come from, it is just there. my feet hurts, my body aches. ARRRHHH am i AGEING?

haha remember i used to biatch about those pple whom i liaise with, about how i wish they could be a lil nicer or friendlier to me? abt those aunties beside me who seem to only know how to gossip and diao at others? sorry but i hafta take back those words. HAHAHA.. they are super nice to me! pple whom i liaise with gave me lychees, chocolates and made coffee for me for several days, just becoz i brought up to them some stuff they had to travel 2 storeys down to take. actually, it was only a matter of shun bian-ness, as i had to pass them some documents as well. have spoken to the ladies and they actually smile and talk cock a lil with me.

i think the problem could have lied with me. probably gave black or sian face in the initial phase. i couldn't help it, especially in a new environment which is so damn scary. i guess i'm just not tt strong or fearless.. no matter how hard i try. hahaha.. SO.. i wouldnt want anymore changes at the moment. guess wad. i actually used 1-2 mths to reli familiarise myself with work and the pple ard. oh man i think im SLOW. sickening. got some news tt a colleague from india could be joining my dept. does tt end my journey in this company? ahahaha i have a SPY in the compliance dept if there's gonna be a new person. so i will be mentally prepared with 1st hand news!

ok so everyone's probably changing for the better. but not for one person. the evil creature, as usual. pple who knows, knows it. pple who dun, forget it. aiyah talking abt her reli makes my blood boils. been shouting and quarrelling for no absolute reason when she simply wouldnt acknowledge facts or truth which point right at everyone's faces. well, life is that. we have pple who are nice and pple who ain't. pple who are smart and pple who ain't. and in this case, pple whom i care about and some particular someone whom i couldnt be bothered about anymore.

untitled

2006-05-25T00:47:00.000+08:00

alright alright.. im back to blog..

haha was super darn busy at work last week. the market was super bad and my boss was kinda put under pressure by the change in market. feeling the pressure myself, i dare not let my guard down while doing work and kept pushing myself to work FAST FAST FAST! omg i can now feel the "feeling" i had back then.. reli gan jiong and have to act as quickly as possible without any mistakes. gotta work out values for trades done with certain brokers practically everyday, but this is an easy job so i have nothing to complain about. i wish i could ask more about the market.. about how they trade.. but sometimes they have no time for me. oh well, i shall just ask as much as possible and learn as i explore the reuters n bloomberg. haha!

oh oh.. i was kinda "accused" by my boss one fine friday for not doing work while staying for OT, when i was actually doing work. aiyah.. i was emailing him the file consisting of wad i had done thru the lotus notes, but he probably tot i was emailing my colleagues. anyway, i just REN and told him tt i was emailing him and asked him to check his mail for this particular work tt i've done. all tt i've sent him showed tt i did not stay to skive alrite! anyway, he treats me quite well usually, so i shall forgive and forget. haha

i've found out tt both my traders are totally different in character, though both are nice people. the boss is firm and throws stuff for me to do on my own, like liaising with the brokers or replying emails to relevant depts, which actually provides me with the relevant exposure i need as a stepping stone into this industry. at least i am able to communicate with the brokers and they actually know of my existence. the other trader, on the other hand, will do most of the things himself and try not to overload me with work, when in fact i don't reli have alot of work to do everyday except for adhoc stuff which come anytime they want to. but the good thing is he will always try to explain the reason or purpose in performing a particular action whenever i have doubts, so tt i can understand better in their operations and i actually find tt it reduces chances of me following instructions blindly. yea great. i hope i will be extended for many more many more months. cheers!

i've got alot to update, but reli dunno wad to talk about. met up with many frenz over the past weeks. shan and pps for lunch or after-work activities; ai ai, jeanny, libin and hweesun for sher's bday chalet; ting n peiqi for regular meetings. the chalet was enjoyable......... to sleep. haha i was practically slping the whole while and line actually told me tt my hand shook while i slept. is tt a sign tt i hv parkinson's disease? we stayed till the nx day to accompany sher.. if not she'll be ji mo in the big house which was infested with insects of all kinds. just imagine! a super duper bigsize ant with 3 segments on its body, and a greenish butt to make things worse. yucks and grasshoppers ranging from small to big sizes, dull to bright green colour. arghhhhhhhhhh!!!! and cats tt actually STALK people.. omg those cats were scary to actually follow us around in the dark. but overall, it was good, with the company and crap and all. haha! oh and L asked me out for drinks on tt day.. aiyoh.. wasted. hahaha but i wun disappoint and dua my frenz one.. there's always a NX TIME as agreed! hah!

met up with my classmates for settlers on 13th May, after the TA test. i hope i'll pass and can go on to take the diploma. anyway, we played my favourite citadels and pictionary can! i've realized one FACT. some guys simply couldnt draw!! looking at the shitty crap tt the guys had scribbled, and the PICTURES tt we gers had drawn, wad more was there to say? hahaha oops. then we went brewerks for drinks, but i left earlier as i had to meet up with pq and ting to hang out. tight schedule every wkend man.

celebrated kane's bday with zhichuan, lina and pris. i sooooooo wanted to ask L along but cannot. haha sad case! we had drinks and ate a super-not-nice steak at cafe iguana. but the margaritas were cheap and good. so we stayed till 11+pm to talk cock and gossip. i became the "moanie" in our clique and jokes were often about me.. haha as usual, the TEH queen. aiya i seldom teh one k.. they just couldnt imitate me that's all.. this is uniqueness leh. hahaha

YAY! i've finally booked my tix to HK! accomodation and all settled! itinery for the trip? SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING!!! and my contract ended yday. sad.. am i considered an illegal worker now, since i have yet to sign any document with my agency for renewal of the contract. pls pls pls renew me indefinitely. hahaa

gotta attend some training tml. 3 long hrs can. argh. i wonder wad is there for me to learn, seriously, to track expenses in some system. my frenz will be attending the half-hr sessions, yet mine is 6 times longer than theirs. EEYER. den the office will be darker without my presence. HAHAHA! the boss is suggesting a reuters training session as well, as im not very familiar with the system except some simple navigations. i guess i will request for more of such trainings. FREE WAD! just take la. hahaha

met up with PPS yday for dinner. and guess wad. PPS actually coughed up 2 pieces of tofu that she had accidentally choked on, thru her NOSE. imagine something solid coming thru ur nasal system.. eewww.. i even took pics of them. they were not those small and scattered kind can. relatively big and in solid form. i think northpoint foodcourt's cursed la. hahaha

ok lastly, ade has joined me in raffles place. so one more kaki! ai ai u've finally joined me.. JEANNY and libin.. we will be waiting for u guys to join us as well. as for sher.. stay home and ROT till ur sch starts man. haha

fun

2006-05-07T04:01:00.000+08:00

hehehe. i partied with zhi chuan, lina, kane and pris throughout the whole night! been to attica and MOS, and switched places every now and then when we got bored of the music. it was lucky tt i curbed my drinking habits and din drink too much, dun wanna become merlion no more! but i managed to get in MOS and attica w/o being checked. am i old u tell me! i got in to the white room too. oooh the ambience was super nice. whitish and pure, with super comfy seats and all. =D

hehe reli had a fun nite out with the gers and we all agreed that we shld do it more often.

before our partying session, we had japanese food at tampopo again, as we had a craving for japanese food then. the auntie recognised me from my last visit with 07 gang and wanted to give us free slices of "bday" cake, as she thought tt they were out to celebrate my bday and wanted to offer her wishes to me. haha i din correct her mistake (due to peer influence. lol) but was too full for even a slice of cake, so i rejected her offer and we got out of the restaurant straightafter. next time then auntie! i will come back for my well-deserved "bday" cake! haha

my office was gossiping abt me!! not something bad.. haha but ARGHHHH so paiseh!

yea yea im gonna book tickets for HK soon. flights are so expensive now, at 342bucks for jet star! a lil crazy but cathay pac was even more expensive at over 500bucks. sighz

Sinful acts!

2006-05-01T03:48:00.000+08:00

- Haagen Daz -

FONDUE~

Me and Jean's Linguine with Sambal Crayfish Crabmeat Sauce

Ade's fettucine with mushroom creamy sauce

Sher's seafood risatto

My favourite! Chocolate Truffle =)

Chocolate brownie gelato on a hotplate?

girls' day out!

2006-05-01T02:27:00.000+08:00

enjoyable day

2006-04-30T01:53:00.000+08:00

met up with line, sher and jean today!

hehe supposed to surprise sher with my appearance at haagen daaz for chocolate fondue session, as i bluffed her that i had a date with my twin. hahaha! wah the chocolate was dark belgium chocolate can. omg. i feel that it was so much nicer than the max brenner's.

after our sinful act, we took pics outside the esplanade like some siao cha bors, taking pics with trees or doing stupid actions. next, we WALKED, and i reli mean WALKED around city hall. firstly, we shopped around chijmes and took nice pics of one particularly nice flight of stairs. each of us took individual pics with it. sounds stupid, but who cares! haha!

and then. we WALKED around marina square as we couldn't find suitable slots for any movies or KTV. window-shopped a lil and tried to source for a nice dining place for our dinner. finally settled on OLIO, in suntec. i've realized that other than eating, we have been walking around for the whole day. ok, i had crayfish linguine with crabmeat sambal sauce (same as jean), ade had her fettucine mushroom kinda pasta, and sher had her seafood risatto. lastly, not forgetting DESSERTS! we had brownie and chocolate truffle.

anyone has recommendations for nice chocolate cakes? lol. or recommendations for nice food?

anyway, we walked again. yes WALKED again, to raffles place. my workplace, hahaah the feeling of home, my 2nd home. we chatted awhile, about BGR, about guys, about stuff. girls, you guys must be XING FU k! ahhaha.. hope that 10 yrs down the road we can all be taitais and enjoy hi-tea like nobody's biz? lol!

yea anyway, really enjoyed my day. though a lil tired and still felt abit sick, maybe from lack of rest, but today was fun and enjoyable. had super talk cock sessions and funny photo-taking sessions! more to come! cycling on monday and KTV next sat? lolz

2006-04-30T01:12:00.000+08:00

i contracted food poisoning since tuesday. supposed to be on MC on wed and thurs but i went to work on thurs anyway. had a very groggy week after my illness. for the past 2 days of the weekdays, i totally got screwed up by the many discrepancy issues that i nearly fainted and had a throbbing headache after work each day.

i finally got the chance to communicate with the brokers, to confirm the orders and to send them the allocations of the stocks there were traded, their quantities and portfolios. ooooh cool! i totally love it!

i reli felt so so so tired from the many discrepancy issues that i nearly dreaded every ring i hear from my phone on friday evening, as i know every ring surely constitutes a discrepancy issue and it rang continuously till near 7pm.

it was really the first time, and i reli mean the 1st time, that i felt myself working in a fast-paced position. had a short chat with my trader over my lunch, and we chatted about his work life. as we all should know, life as a trader is never easy. looking around my workplace, i've concurred his point of a very fast-paced lifestyle for our department. other departments could have their own stress and datelines and all, but my department - mainly my traders - were the ones who always have to keep up with the market prices, or even overperform from the benchmark prices. they have to act fast, think fast, decide fast, so that they can get the best prices for the fund managers. always having pressure and all as they are on the frontline. really, all the principles that mr cheong had taught us were totally applicable in this job. as their assistant, i have to keep up with the pace and send info and allocation to brokers as fast as possible too. compute performance for their trade executions as fast as possible. and do distinction projects on futures, options and many more for them.

ARGHHHH i'm stressed out. how can i not be. but i'm trying to take it easy.

i attended an interview for UOB KH, as a biz development clerk. the post has got something to do with the handling of IPOs and prospectus, usually more backroom and desk-bound kinda job. i wasn't very keen so i din reli promote myself that much, just talked cock a lil and kept silent, as i reli hope that i will be able to get an extension for my current job. haha if i can be shortlisted i will tou xiao man.

the Japanese trading company asked me down for an interview, but i postponed it till next tues. was super sick and weak in my knees that i felt so jellyish and nua throughout my whole body. tot for a few days and realized that 1.3K is reli a lil too low, even if bonuses and leaves were to make up for the low pay. DBS called me up and asked me whether i am interested for a position as an Operations officer or assistant. haha but i was sick on that day, hence i wasn't able to attend the interview. just too bad. although the company sounds good and looks good on my resume, but my trader advised me against joining local banks and jap companies. leng also has a fren who learnt very limited knowledge while working in dbs, i wonder if i will be like him? so just too bad for them! hahahaha!

anyway, my trader was proposing to me that there is a high potential that he will extend my contract. dun ask me how i get him to talk about it, i led to this topic unknowingly. was quite sad that my frenz on contract basis were due and left on friday but he brought up this topic and brightened my day when he said that he will be renewing my contract. hahaha. but he also mentioned that i am not convertible to perm (yet) due to company restructuring programme (not very sure did he mention the word YET, but if he did, i will be very happy =) ).

haha god pls BLESS me~ wherever u are~ whoever u are~

2006-04-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

omg omg omg he talked to me!!!!

ok i'm not supposed to be hua chi. but here goes nothing.

it was my company dinner at the boathouse, with freeflow of food and drinks. it was already 8+pm, and almost everyone had left for the office to complete their work. Everyone, except 2 tables - his and mine!

i was on my way back from the toilet and walked past his table, when he asked me to join him for a drink. omg i nearly fainted. i so so so wanted to sit down but my mouth said another thing "oh but my frenz are over there..".

Him: "okie, i'll join you then."

hahaha so happy that i nearly hit the ceiling.

LOL! and i asked him to join us for our clubbing trip nx week and YES! he agreed!

but bad news. he's attached. BOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO. sad. haha

anyway, i've got new frenz! so so happy!

zhi chuan from marketing. i totally love her man. she's cool and young, 23 only, and she's a real bf-lover as she flies over to HK fortnightly to visit her BF who's situated there for his job. had a nice time chatting with her and my frenz at the boathouse, and she encouraged me to go overseas for studies as she just came back not long ago from london. arranged a clubbing trip with her, angeline, kane, lina and HIM! lolz!

adele. she's damn funny and bo chap kind. a young mum at the age of 25 but totally carefree and talk cock with me. but she left already boohoohoo. her contract was due yday! but she may come back in a month's time. hope to see her badly!

as the legend goes. there could be alot of backstabbers and politics in office. but im so glad i've such nice frenz who bo chup with me and we enjoy life in the way we want and work hard at the same time. haha so line and jean, please dun dread work.. join me in the fun! hehe i reli find work happy and worthwhile!

Recap

2006-04-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

met up with ade, sherlyn n jean on saturday. sherlyn was so blur! we were supposed to catch a movie at the new cathay cineplex, but she got off the train at orchard. hahaha anyway it has been quite some time before i get to meet the girls.. shelved off so many roller-blading sessions all becoz of my stupid ankles! but there is always labour day or vesak day to compensate for it. haha

anyway, we bought tix to The Hostel. this show is definitely not recommended for the weak-hearted. although i claim to be very man, but i practically covered my eyes for most of the gross scenes can. and i squealed and got shocked by the gruesome sight. omg. no. it shld be OMFG. damn er xin can.

argh i felt so sick in my stomach after getting outta the theatre. it was the first time i encountered the sensation to PUKE, all thx to the visual and sound effects. i reli dunno i shld recommend or discourage pple from watching this show man. sadistic pple who love The Saw 1/2 would probably love this show! haha with the only restriction of the rating R21. lol! just too bad for those xiao di dis and mei meis. haha do we look old? LOL. maybe i reli look like 25, like wad one of my colleagues said. sad case.

we went to the glasshouse after our show, for Fish and Co. haha super sinful day, but who cares as long as we enjoy? haha.. we saw miss singapore's 1st runner-up in the restaurant too. she was dining.. Below US! and tt made ade and sherlyn very happy indeed to be above one of the miss singapore, as they would take tt as a compliment tt they are far prettier and rated above her? lol

walked all the way to cityhall station before going home. this is definitely ade and jean's idea to make me and sherlyn send them there so that they need not transfer train back to BL. smart ah?!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

sunday:

KTV with my EX-classmates. haha most of us were late! my idea was to meet at 12.45pm but i woke up at 12.45pm anyway. hahaha! ash was worse, 1+pm already and he was still in lala land. so hp and i travelled to town in a cab.. if we were to take a train, i think ys and james would go crazy waiting for us.

the KTV session was so enjoyable! i had a session with pq and lt not long ago but i have not been singing with my classmates for quite some time. their lameness were soon back in action. ahahahhaa. we started getting a lil huai jiu. sang old songs that emerged in my vivian zhou's, tarcy tsu's and wang jie's era. the songs were soooooooo NICE!!!!!

after ktv, tim and HP were smart enough to escape from spending more money. we had our dinner at tanpopo in liang courts. we had buta shabu shabu and ramen, and spent 25bucks each. oooh they have tatami room too, and as usual, i'm Mdm CHUA, the cook! wah it has been so long ever since i've cooked shabu shabu! kinda miss those days when i worked in Chikuyotei. tomomi has brought me to tanpopo before and she always pays for more than what she shld. haha i feel so paiseh always and promised to treat her to coffee, and she suggested for high-tea at a cafe that serves coffee priced at 20+bucks per cup. faintz. haha

anyway, kinda shocked tt mr Han DODO and jamez tasted before the ramen at ken's noodle house. simply delicious! their tamago ramen super duper nice! and not forgetting their gyoza. oooooh. oh yea and we are planning a trip to gallery hotel this friday. HAHAHAHA the ramen i've eaten before as well! also recommended by tomomi (as well as han dodo's mum). she reli noes where the good food are man. anyway the dry noodle is nice, with an additional sauce base, preferably the one other than miso-based (as there are two choices). a must try i think! haha

talking abt food. i shld jian fei liao. kept eating n eating n eating.

company event tml! so happy! free-flow of food and housepours. wad more can a contract staff ask for? hehehe. and line, our motivation all comes about becoz of Ls~ hahaha bet only jean and sher will figure this out. lol

stressful day at work today. things cocked up at the last min and no one's around me to help~ nearly resorted to shouting in the gents' to check for my traders' presence. i've learnt new things today, but think many of my brain cells got frightened to death. hahaha. anyway, went for interview at the agency. the basic pay for the perm job is only 1.3K, but there will be bonus and extended leave as compared to local firms, as the jap trading firm offers more annual leave (FYI, living in Japan enables one to enjoy more Public holidays than any other countries. their public holidays include events such as the Sea Day and Grandmothers' Day). abit extreme. but whatever. the more i think the more i don't feel like working in a jap company. but funds hedging sounds cool huh. aiya i dunno ahhhhh!!!!

realization

2006-04-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

i've realized that i shouldn't complain so much.

i bet everyone else who is working (except the bitching bunch) would feel the same way, or even worse than i do.

even individuals who have climbed to the top of the corporate ladder would feel tremendous pressure from their subordinates or the ultimate boss.. moreover small fry like me. unless i'm some multi-zillionaire, who have looks, brains and all the money in the world for people to want to suck up to, life will never be smooth-sailing at work for one.

just face it and live life to the fullest! we still have frenz and family to look upon to.

wassup for my itinery for the week? work and shopping. shopping wasn't too fruitful for me today. i think i will buy the cream-coloured blazer i saw in zara. it's nice!! but it's a lil exp at 119. i shall see how shopping goes tml! hope i'll get some skirts and a bag!

pissed to the max!

2006-04-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

haha ok i'm gonna complain again.

but first, let's talk about my departmental dinner on wednesday. haha dun be so excited yet abt my deptal dinner. my dept has 3 of us only -- 2 traders and ME. lol

we went to far east square for a late dinner, after staying in our office till 7.40pm. ahaha talked about my background, their work and the risks of being a trader. haha.. they mentioned that finance is not an industry to stay for life, and tt they are prepared to be sacked any moment. heard that a super experienced counterpart of theirs was sacked becoz he or she underperformed or sth. leng i totally agree wif ya in ur latest post, the harsh realities of this world.

oh oh i heard that my company's gonna have a dinner, an event or sth liddat. shld be held two tuesdays later. hehe interesting.

thursday was HELL. really. i was kept busy the whole day. in the morn from 11-12.30, i was out of office to attend a bloomberg training course. hehe cool. but i learnt super basic stuff, some of which i have already learnt from my trader, and i know abit bit more! hehe. so maybe i shld request for some other courses! free sandwiches and beverages provided. the beverages, such as pink dolphin, milo, juices, just wadever la, could be found in fridges like those we see in 7-eleven. super duper big and spacey kind. =D i shld have kope more pink dolphin back to keep in my pantry!

the people in bloomberg mustn't be easily distracted man, coz trainees for courses were always walking around, chatting in their pantry which is not enclosed and just nx to their work station. there will be courses conducted there weekly, more than once per week, yet they could be so focused in their work. *admire sia.

i also wanna become someone of that calibre. yes. someone of worth. haha

oh yea.. but too bad the sandwiches have mayo. YUCKS. so i da bao some hotdog and salad to lunch in. hehe enjoy life man. sat in pantry and chatted with angeline. and my traders were back from lunch again, and i gotta go back to work. their breaks super short, it was like less than half an hour can.

then i started packing one of my traders' belongings. files, papers and practically everything on his desk into boxes i've found. yea our finance side is currently conducting a re-structuring as there are a few pple who have no seats in the office at all. too many input, too less of output. so my area was shifted to the back of the office, in a corner just next to the pantry, from the area nx to the sales and marketing dept. so saddddd.. i couldnt talk to the pple there anymore. just got to know one ger there. she looks young and frenlY~ i like her!!! ahahaha sorry im not les.

started talking to other fund managers abt the shift. heard from my trader that we will be shifting to another building in raffles as well sometime next year. will i live to see that day in my company? hahaa.. and i happily chatted with a few while packing. but the FI pple still as dao as ever. sai. only one person is fine there. it was such a gd day for me. but matters on price discrepancies crept in.

it wasnt my fault la. haha my trader got the prices and quantity from the respective brokers and sent the info to me, and i just followed wadever i see on the email and keyed in its respective prices and quantity. who knows the brokers had given us the wrong info. in the end i had to send several emails to rectify this problem even though the problem was talked through the phone and in person. i had already told the back office that the new and correct prices from the brokers were stated below. so isnt it straightforward that we shld use the new prices? aiyah i dunno them la. so i sent a SAME email back, with the same info on new prices and quantity and stated again for them to use the new prices.

this wasn't going to end my day. i happily found one stock stranded on my system, which was in a "confirmed" status, signalling that the trade wasn't sent for settlement yet (it shld have been cleared 2 hrs ago actually). so i called them (the same dept as previous matter) up for assistance. one actually lashed at me, "in confirmed status how to export the trade out?". i was so stunned. coz all the while the trades must be changed to "confirmed" state from an "approved" status by me or my traders before they can export it out. i checked with my traders and confirmed my doubts, and i told her tt the trade cannot be exported if it was in an approved state, not confirmed. in the end, we ended the call unhappily and i seeked help from IT. it's like, she din even get the facts right and snapped at me. wad the.. aiyah why do pple i liaise with seem to hate me so much. and pple around me are so nice. why can't they be as nice as those pple around me? sad, isn't it? when those whom i needed their cooperation treat me in this way. but the lady who snapped at me always smiles at me, ahaha maybe she doesn't know who i am. if she does, she'd probably gimme a black face. sad case.

but it's okie. most people treat me nicely. although i cannot rule out the possibility of two-headed snakes. at least most of them smile and make small talks with me, not like those dao aunties, whether they were gossiping abt me or not. i dun care now. high class pple like me don't gei gao with low-class biatches or gossipers.. and i don't need them to talk to me to survive there. no thanks to contaminating my pure mind, and thanks for giving me all this shit.

anyway, the cleaner auntie advised me to zao after finding a perm job. haha dunno la. anyway i got good deals man. my trader gave me hongkong disneyland's stamps. LIMITED wor. super duper limited. think it was issued to or bought by customers who visited HK disneyland on its first day of opening. given by one of our brokers, and passed on to me! hehe and i got a new set of board game i think. some game to unravel tomb secrets or sth. also a water bottle and a hp pouch for participation in the fire drill, which made me walked down 25 storeys becoz of a fake fire on the 15th storey. haha best thing was, i was clearing my station when i came upon one notebook left behind by an experienced trader. oooooh.. my trader asked me to bring it home for reference. cool!

it's finally GOOD Friday! a day when i can sleep in and wake up late. but sadly, i shot up at 9am today! dunno am i too used to waking early that i jerked awake upon seeing sunlight. haha oh and i met up with my insurance agent today. she wanna poach me into her company whahahaha. she wanted me to attend the casual interview at their chalet, with interactive games and one-to-one talks with the director, who will personally select his desired members for his new batch of recruits. she said i will surely get in after the interview and tt i have wad it takes to be a successful agent. does crapping constitutes an agent's character? haha she told me that she has been waiting for this day for so long, after prior discussions with another agent who also knows me. both of them feels the same way and wanna get me into the team. i got an agent's face ISSIT!!!! tell me honestly!! sad. haha.. being an agent can be a stepping stone to the finance line, not forgetting the huge amounts i may earn. but i seriously have no passion for selling policies or offering such advices yet.

haha i'm going for tarot reading tml with ting. joycie is interested too. wad shld i ask? i think france trip is a must. and nx would be my career, am i reli suitable for finance. lastly, relationship? ahahaha.. no im not despo, ask for fun can. maybe i can ask her to get an answer from the cards for the number of bfs i had, to test her reliability. since i had none, if she gave me any answer other than that then i can jolly well forget about wad she says. ahahaha! shopping trip with joycie tml too! i'm seriously in need of formal wear!! money-depletion in progress.. lol

a new chapter of my life..

2006-04-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

hey hey!!

guess many of you miss reading my long long longgggggggggg postings rite.

i am soooo tired.

what is happening in my life!???

ok. back-tracking. a final get-together with most of my classmates on the ~~23rd march~~ 2nd April (oops! hehe), done by spending our day in settlers and makaning at night - steamboating. haha i ended up super oily! but i enjoyed myself tt day hehe. the DON was kind enough to send us home when i discovered that i had misplaced my wallet in ew's bag. haha

24th march was my first day of work (my bro's bday too!). it was a friday and also the day one of my traders left for zurich for his studies. i was briefed on my responsibilities and allowed to be put on test by processing a few transactions. the people there were.. serious. only got to know a contract staff and a german guy on my first day.

as my team was only left with a trader for the past two weeks, he couldn't guide me most of the time and i'll be left on my own to speculate and ask questions. subsequently, things got on fine. i'm more familiar with my work and hv done alot of excel thingy. luckily MA and BD trained us for staring at sheets man! but i am still quite weak in macros. my projects on options&futures and TA are also stalled as many adhoc work regarding previous months' trade entries came in recently. haha a timely break for me to get away from FO.

i have been using bloomberg for the past few weeks to research on the prices of stocks, but was still quite clueless on how to navigate through the system for other things like news and charts. hehe my traders signed me up for a basic course on how to operate bloomberg, and i have my own ID and pass for it now! hehe! so happY!! i have access to reuters messaging too, which is just like MSN, just that i can add staff or brokers only to my platform.

want instant chat? no worries. EMAIL me!!! hahaa adeline sent a mushy little love letter to me last friday morning, with a timestamp of 2.20am in the morning (to ai ai: aNgGGgZzZzzzz). ahahha i started laughing once i saw the email, and started looking at it whenever i felt sian or tired. ahahaha. as i had to check my emails on the lotus notes regularly for trade price discrepancies or info for processing, i will reply as instant as using MSN. come come. ask me for my email add. hahaha

now.. my colleagues~ kane (doesn't this reminds u of CHOKESLAM!?) and priscilla from the finance dept would buy kopi or tea for me whenever they go for hi-tea break, or we lunch together with lina (from the unit trust dept). alternatively, lina and angeline (communication marketing) will go lunching and chat (or shld i say 3 gu 6 po?) together with me, as we are in the same office. ahaha a diversification of positions amongst my frenz! and we can talk cock together too! lolz! who ask my department only have 3 people, including me? the rest of the people around me are like so stern and only fun among themselves (those FI pple who are in their 30s or 40s that kind). An exception for a few of the sales and marketing people, as they're cool and frenly and always smile at me! =D it simply made my day. the german guy whom i've known since day 1 has become my regular chat partner now! haha! some fund managers are nice too, LOL one of which is rather cute. but i'm now being labelled as a hua chi by joycie, ade and maybe hp as well. ahahahaha

oh YEA~ went MOS with joycie and zhenzhi (twin's fren) on 1st april. oooh cool i like it. haha. tt place is nice. we bought a jug of long island and a bottle of red wine. lol spent alot sia. oh saw pearl there too. haha so qiao! twin and her frenz arranged another session on sat, and angie is interested too whahaha. this ex-colleague of mine is damn funny one. like to talk to her! a spitfire once you've stepped on her tail. she owes me drinks can. coz she fly my aeroplane last weekend! lol!

oh yea. did i mention i wanna bake? i think i did. but i'm lazy to wait for an appropriate timing to travel to frens' places, hence i am gonna buy one myself! shopped in best denki with my bro but i guess i will shop in courts before i make any decisions! sherlyn~~ u can come my place anytime soon!! hehe! oooh and im gonna buy a laptop for my sis too, as she needs one for her studies. this is reli a money-flowing month!

P.S. i bought super nice pair of shoes from DMK. =D reli super nice colour + design! maroonish purplish? lol wadever!

help help helppppppp~

2006-03-17T01:48:00.000+08:00

oh man.. i'm reli helpless.. clueless.. n my stomach is causing me more pain and frustrations than ever!

shld i.. shld i not..

paris is so artsy, but im not an artsy kinda person. going there to eat bread everyday doesnt reli sound great, watching pple pose for naked artpieces dun reli appeal to me too. and cheese definitely ain't my cup of tea!! however, the idea of going overseas for studies sounds cool huh. you get to live a totally different kinda life there! but beyond the fun and experience we may get to enjoy from the trip abroad come expenses, independence and language barrier.

just imagine. having to speak french practically to everyone you see and in everything you do, it's like a hell lot tougher than trying to shit while you're having constipation (yea im constipated now! after days of LS-ing). moreover, having to live alone overseas is no easy deal. but i feel tt this is reli a test for my own self-being, to bring my independence to a greater level and to be flexible to changes so as to be able to adapt to changing working environment in future.

i wouldnt wanna burdenize my parents further with my expenses, but i reli feel tt this could be the turning point of my life. the high standard of living in paris reli can kill. i'm so fan nao~

liping and line were questioning me on my means of financing the course.. and whether it would be beyond my parents' limits to send me abroad. liting was also saying tt she too, had been so enthu about joining the local UOL programme with her jc classmate, but backed out of the course a few months after joining. reason being: her fren quit and she felt discouraged to continue any longer. ting was saying that it could be the heat of the moment, things could just happen in the way tt happened to her: tt i just happen to hear of this programme from my lecturer, tt i just happen to graduate at this point in time and desperately needed a way out, tt my fren feel like going so i probably got psychoed to go.

wad she said makes sense too. but i reli yearn for the experience and the chance to explore the world.

kwokyann also questioned me on how much am i willing to go over, on joycie's account. i din answer him, as i'm not too sure too. he was wondering.... wad if joyce gives up halfway? will i stay? or will i leave with her, back to SG? ky also mentioned tt i'm more of a working kinda person than a studying one, one who will pia so hard in work and do last min studying (just like wad peiqi and liping said). haha they know me well man.

i am reli helpless! HELP!!!!

but i sounded the lady at the helpdesk for relevant information, and i shall just hope that she'll bring me good news on the nice modules they offer for the course and all!

meanwhile.. i have to test water abit and ask my dad for his opinion tml.. wish me luck!

3 days of partying~ woooah~

2006-03-15T04:03:00.000+08:00

wow.. i have totally enjoyed myself to the fullest over the 3 days.. drank alot too and i'm pretty relieved that my stomach walls didn't get burned or something.

09/03 (Thurs)

Graduation night for our dinner and dance. almost all of my classmates turned up, except leng and cherry. dinner was alright only, but it was the process tt counts. the photo-taking sessions with my BD groupmates, BD classmates, coursemates, Bangkok-trip-mates, lecturers, and not forgetting, 06-ers and my classmates!

we loitered and stayed till 12+am before we decided on the next destination: Rouge. haha we ordered 2 bottles of johnnie walker and most of them got a lil drunk. the funniest thing being, ASHTON actually fell when he tried kicking ys's shoe. whahaha the process of him flipping over n flopping on the floor resembles a fishy on a pan, totally. lolz. sorry dude. hehe

after our drinking session, came the interrogation session. this time round, ah boo and i were put under pressure to answer questions such as "who do u like in the course of studies in SP?" and "why don't you get a bf?". hahaha can siam den siam liao! hahaha luckily the focus wasn't on me tt much.. orh mi tor fo dun ask me again can?

we chatted till 7+ or 8 in the morning and i reached home at 8+. wah really so tiring! but i have another party to attend to later in the day............

10/03 (Fri)

oooh i actually wanted to meet ash and ys to check in pan pac first, but as u all know, i was late again so i decided to meet my colleague instead. BUT i was late again and couldn't meet her until my restaurant opened for business and i went in to talk to my waitresses, cashiers and chefs. i miss that place man! meeiling, shan and i took pics in the tatami room, and even with tomomi. whahha

buffet at triple 3. i was fascinated by their sashimi and sushi, so i grabbed like siao. chikuyotei's taste better! haha i miss the food in chikuyotei.. oh gosh.. their sashimi are reli damn fresh and sweet. just imagine, sweet raw food. goodness, can melt in my mouth can!!!

oh and chocolates~ there's this chocolate fondue machine churning a pool of milk chocolate. oh man, i practically filled my whole plate with it. lolz. what a sin to eat such food, but i don't reli care then la. no need so shu nu in front of them one. hahaha

ooooh~ we reached pan pac after makan-ing, and we opened my bottle of martell n ric's white wine for celebration. ric's wine tasted great man, i tink got a history of 10 years already. i shld keep some today and open them 10 years later too. we watched american pie and makan in macs, AGAIN. after which ash was forced onto our bed and got raped by shan and I. hahaha. 3 rooms for 6 pple, shiok ah!

11/03 (Sat)

we got ready by 1+pm and off we go to makan at MS before going over to ric's place for mahjong session. shan, ash and ric, being the diao guis of the class, enticed me into a serious game of mahjong. i think i'm getting addicted soon. lol. and ash lost my bottle of liquor!!! haha but it's okie coz nobody reli drank it except me. you shi bi you de. i'm waiting for good things to happen to me now!

jamez took over me while i met up with leng for the trumpet concert by shunzo ohno. oooh it's nice and cool. musical instruments such as drums, piano, string bass and trumpet alone could churn our super nice music. i wanna learn too!! i told leng tt she tried getting me involved in soka back in year 1, and she replied tt she must finish what she had set out to do. whahaha. and i saw tomomi there, as an usherer, so qiao!!!

actually, i wouldn't mind getting a religion. i have been considering it for months already but no action really taken yet. i shall start with it slowly.. hehe..

after the concert, we hurried to ew's celebration at the kbox in paradiz centre. wah the room cost 1.8K. faint. but it was reli enjoyable! i sang like nobody's business nearing the end of the day (4am). and drank alot again. wah the vodka was nice and strong that i got a lil high when i was halfway through the song High high high. whahah suddenly cannot remember wad i was doing. i think i am god tt i can actually complete tt song w/o me knowing i was singing. whahaha but luckily i regained conscious as quickly as i lost it, only for a few mins. HENG!

tired liao la.. continue next time..

tagging game

2006-03-15T03:15:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by leng n ah cheng for this game.. and i think it wouldn't harm if i could spare bored people from the agony of rotting with the cheap thrills of this game.

oh man.. i must be reli bored to do this.. but here goes nutting~

1.the tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover
2.need to mention the sex of the target.
3.Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they have been tagged.

Here you go..

1.1 Faithful is the key. i simply couldn't accept double-crossers or fickle people.
1.2 Maturity is a factor. i wouldn't want people like my sis to quarrel with me over trivial and bo liao matters.. i will vomit blood.
1.3 Someone who is funny. i wouldn't mind someone brighting up my days.
1.4 Someone who believes in giving-and-taking.
1.5 Someone who cares for me and loves me (obviously).
1.6 Encouraging and supports me (rationally, of coz).
1.7 Someone who accepts me for who i am.
1.8 Must be nice to me. hmm.. nice is kinda up to my definition but i can't possibly describe nice to all of you.. so... forget it.

2. Hahahaha! i know many of you may suspect or even think tt i'm a les, but to all my frenz out there, i'm sorry to disappoint but you have one less lesbian fren. i am not any bit crooked and i don't reli intend to be, until a point when the world is full of bastardized jerks tt i may consider this possibility.

3. My ai ai liNeeee, ash, lulu, jean, PPS, liping, and back to leng & cheng again. hahaha!

just some thoughts

2006-03-04T04:30:00.000+08:00

Thurs (02/03)

exams are finally over. i got a feeling tt i may buang FMRP. i realized tt i forgot to write many important points after i got outta the examination room. ARGHH tt muz be the aftereffect of a sleepless night. so sad.. i memorized all tt for nutting? ARGHZ why din i wrote tt down, i was super short term memory when i did the last question as the idea did came to me in a split second, and i din pen it down. haiz.. so sad.. i dun wanna score badly for this.. i reli dun..

a bunch of us went over to ash's place after having the famous laksa in yishun central. joycie n shanny accompanied me home to get cookie for some fun in ash's place, hiak hiak. haha twin love my big big mirrror in living room!! sometimes i wouldnt dare to look into the mirror at nite when i walked back to my room from kitchen or the living room, as i usually walk in the dark n wad if some funny "cartoon" pop out? choy!!!! orh mi tor fo. shan zai shan zai. they dun disturb me, i dun disturb them.

we reached ash's place at ard 3. wad the hell.. we took cab down from northpoint, and the uncle was SUPER clueless on how to go to vistapoint. if u reli dunno, den u shld tell us before u started driving off and then called your fren for guidance to our destination, while u drove further n further away from the actual route u shld take. i was like, "HELLO UNCLE, THIS WAY IS TO KHATIB LEH." i dunno does he have hearing problems or did i not mention loud enough, but i told him tt twice alrite. when he reli drove to khatib, nearing lentor avenue, he turned to sembawang rd and started moving towards yishun's direction again before going to admiralty, then to woodlands. thanks huh, but we dun nid a ride ard yishun. wah i was so pissed. if he reli doesn't know he could juz spare us the trouble n we would gladly take another cab. the worse thing was, we mentioned tt we wanna drop off at vistapoint. i watched on as he passed by a building which was very likely to be vistapoint, and then when he passed by woodlands drive 16, he was so stunned n said THERE's NO MORE DRIVE 16 leh. i was like, WAH KAO coz u had driven past it can? i told him it was behind n ask him to make another round, n just as i had expected, we reli dropped off at tt pink building tt we might have alighted minutes ago. wah reli sian more than half when we paid for such a worthless tour. especially on a hot n humid day. SO NOT FUN OK.

a similar case happened to me while i was on my way to sch one fine day when i was about to be late. tt cab uncle, instead of the super shortcut route i always take to the upper seletar reservoir, he toured one big round in yishun lor!!!! i would hv ventured into mandai rd in 5min or lesser, but it took me at least 15-20min before he turned into mandai road. i was like so super diaong can? i told him tt he took the super long route n tt i could hv reached tis road in 5min. n he diam diam. nvm, he charged me the usual fee, so i shall forgive n forget. but another uncle was so unbearable. i left ting's home in a cab one night at 1+am, n instead of following the mrt tracks to yishun, he turned another big round to sembawang road or wad. WAD SHIT? u guys got problem izzit. i was sms-ing so i din realize he took the wrong route until i saw him drove ahead. i exclaimed out loud wasnt he supposed to turn left, and he shoot me, "WHY U NV SAY EARLIER?" den i retorted "u also nv asked n i was on the phone lor, how to see?".

n he still went on n on so i shut him up by repeating what i had said. COME ON MAN. he oso nv asked den he claimed tt i nv say. the route back to my home was like pretty obvious, why muz he make a big round then? for the sake of earning a lil bit more money and then accuse me for not stating my preferred route. wad shit. if i were to state it clearly, i think tt would be an insult to his profession, hence i gave him the benefit of the doubt but he gave me such a shitty attitude. he muz be having PMS.

ok back to ash's place. cookie was so shy lor.. so unlike him. haha.. i'm so glad tt he's more toilet-trained now, at least he always run all the way n spinned around the newspapers whenever he wanted to shit or pee. good doggy!

usually, he would have barked like mad whenever he hear the sounds of keys but he din bark except for ash dad's return. whaha coz i left him on the floor n he was super wary of the "intruder". whahhaa he was so guai outside, didn't bark nor bite any bit, and after getting a scolding from me, he din dare walk into their bathroom. hahaha dogs reli can understand humans man! but why din he stay tt way at home?

he was so quiet in my bag too, whahaha nv utter a sound except sticking his head out for breathers. his head = brooch for my bag. whahaha those who had seen it would know wad i mean!

they played mahjong till 8+pm, and i managed to sleep in an awkward position on the table behind shan with all the din they made while playing. haha super duper tired. nan wei le meng yun, who had to carry cookie in his arms like a nanny. but i bet he enjoyed it! it's kinda dangerous to allow cookie to roam ard ash's home, as there is a high possibility tt it would end up as dog curry. becoz...... ashton is afraid of cookiE!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha

leng, cheng n fren went to rouge and they jio us along, but all of us were tired and some of us were in slacks, so we decided to forego this session. went straight home after pasta-ing.. finally got a chance to eat my pasta!! lol

Fri (03/03)

supposed to find ricky at his office, but i woke up super late for the supposedly lunch meeting wif shan and i din go sch at all. i roamed ard wisma and taka, and stopped lan lan in her tracks when i was on my way to taka departmental stores. AHHHHH LAN LAN ah lan lan~~~ i miss her so much so much so much!!! nv met up with her since i've unofficially left chikuyotei, and i shopped in watsons with her. she even paid for the chocolates i wanted and keep it in custodian until i'm free enough to claim them, as she was considerate enough to find it ma fan for me to carry them around while i shop. she's reli very nice to me, even back when i used to work with her. we would ANG here n there non-stop. whahaha. she always say tt i started this ang-ing trend n caused her to do tt too. haha she's super pretty and nice, but too bad she is already taken.

i found nice earrings while roaming ard!! 25 bucks per pair. omg i think soon i'll be back to claim it. found super nice earrings at future state too! only 13 bucks but pinkish n crystally. whahaha.. cannot tahan glittery stuff. i bought a gold earring too, wah super nice but peiqi claimed tt she look like an ah mah if she were to wear it. lolz. loitered in the perfume section in taka departmental store, and decided on lancome miracle for clara. oh gosh i love tt perfume man! though it's super nice, i prefer my gucci envy me though! hahaha! n they are all in pink bottles. call me girly all you want, HAHA! Pink coRour ROX!

n i saw a super duper super duper nice blue bag at a shop selling abercrombie n fitch stuff in far east! it costs 330 bucks. OMG it is reli super nice with crystals tt i WAHHHHHHH so loudly upon seeing it. wah lao eh reli super nice can. it's reli very nice can? but i juz bought an exp bag for CNY, haiz, muz consider abit b4 buying again. arghhh why cant money juz drop from sky for me~ i muz save for many things. n i am sure tt the bag shldn't be the top priority. i wanna go korea in july. yay!! concrete plans are already kinda set. so happy!!!!!

chatted at coffeebean nx to borders with pq n ting, and we chatted alot of intellectual n religious stuff. most of u probably wouldnt noe, but the 3 of us did make plans to attend some religious meetings months ago, but we nv get to do it. i was suggesting soka to pq but she preferred the chinese method, though ting n i were pretty comfortable wif soka. alright we shall see how it goes. we were talking about the rationale behind buddhists who turned vegetarian. they believe tt every living things, except plants n insects have their own soul and would not want people to slaughter them. if they were, there would be some form of "Yuan1 Qi4" residuing in the carcasses and it would not be gd for one's cultivation if he were to consume food with negative auras.

we started talking about souls, the 4th dimension, parallex dimension, aliens, evolution and the reborn of earth. we used to have a schmate who was in this particular religion or cult tt practises teachings which believe tt the earth will die some day and regenerate living things again, somewhere along tt line. she stubbornly refused to sing the national anthem n pledge, hence was expelled from the sch as they consider it treason or something to not sing the sch song. poor thing. but anyway, wad they believe in is a fact wad, proven by scientists n researchers and all. but i wonder the rationale behind not singing the national anthem.

now, parallex dimension. qi was saying tt wadever we do in our own universe, there would be another dimension which mirrors our actions n doings. which means if i were to sit down n chat happily with my frenz now, i would be slapping n fighting with them in the other dimension. cool man. the theory was discovered but wasn't proven. next, we mentioned about ghosts. they may have a world of their own in the n-th dimension after their death. they could have another coffeebean at the exact spot where we were sitting in our dimension, only with different "customers" in theirs. maybe they were sucked back into our dimension due to the magnetic force so they stayed behind? haha.. maybe.

evolution.. AHHH talking abt evolution.. it brings me memory of my JC period while mugging so hard for biology. the DARWIN'S theory of evolution! the scientific darwin's theory kinda contradict many religious beliefs, as religions believe tt the land and living things were created by God, whoever or whichever their beliefs lie in. however, according to the darwin's theory, the living things change and evolve to suit the changing environment due to the hostile environmental factors in their own niche.

some water creatures have evolved to have amazing legs n to be able to endure a short while on land before going back to their habitat, and on the other hand, some land animals have become accustomed to going into the waters tt they slowly evolve to have gills to allow them to breathe underwater for a short period. cockroaches used to die after being sprayed by a mild pesticide then, but now they've evolved to become immuned to those pesticides. though many of their kinds hv perished with our sprayings, but our sprayings have actually aided them to breed a new kind of cockroaches who are stronger and more resistant to our pesticides, tt humans have problems trying to concoct a strong-enough-but-not-too-irritating-for-humans pesticide tt is ideal for the batch of Cockroaches. it is juz like dawn of the dead, whereby a new breed of a race is born. this is known as survival of the fittest, isn't it? the cycle continues and the cockroaches get stronger, but i do hope they wun infest our earth.. coz i hate cockroaches.

yes, it could be god who created the earth: the land, the ground, the rivers, the mountains, the people, the animals, the insects. but it is up to the living things to evolve to wad we have today. god could have created us in the form of a chimpanzee, and we have become wad we see ourselves as today. amazing.

qi's professor was saying, we could be pawns in aliens' hand. who knows, just like matrix, the aliens could have injected our brains with our unique datas n backgrounds in their database, and we see wad they wan us to see in our universe. maybe they could be monitoring us while we do things tt we would, given our unique personalities and tt could very much be their survey topics and we could very much become guinea pigs for their tests!! omg!!!

humans always believe tt we are the most superior living thing in the universe, but is tt reli so? we evolved to fit into the environment tt is suitable for living things on Earth; the importance of air, humidity, water, the kinds of food, etc. but there could also be a possibility tt there are other creatures who may have evolved to become accustomed to their own environmental factors; probably 900 Farenheit on Venus would be ideal for venus-ians who are wrapped with skins with holes around them for "tong1 fong1" purposes and they could probably withstand atmospheric pressure tt is 90 times tt of the Earth's surface weighing on their skins? tt could very much be a massage for them man. maybe Martians love to breathe in carbon dioxide that constitutes almost all of the air available on the planet and enjoy basking in temperatures as low as 220 Farenheit below Zero with their furry furry skins tt are thicker than godzilla's?

humans may be superior on Earth, but wad if an even more powerful forces dictate in the rest of the planets as well. oooh interesting. humans are still planning to create homes of our living conditions in other planets decades or most probably centuries later, and i wonder whether we would be welcomed by their natives ahahaha. plz dun let the scenes of Starship Troopers re-enact man. wonder will i be reborn by tt time to experience the self-destruction of the planet or the migration of humans to probably, saturn? haha

we were on our way home and met a Miss P. wah lao eh the way she talk reli was super tactless can? i felt reli insulted n stunned, and pq said tt i am ruo xiao nu zi n tt she muz protect me. haha actually, i think tt is the way Miss P usually talk. but on the other hand, i felt reli offended. things hasn't changed any bit since sec sch days. arghz quite pek chek juz now! i felt so helpless to the extent tt i turned to ting n qi for help, to save me outta the blackhole, coz i wouldn't wanna sound nasty. was kinda biting my tongue in case i lash out unknowingly. respect respect. i din get any tt i deserved. i reli felt like a hypocrite trying to keep a smiley false front, yet i am cringing on my insides. but i had no choice but to do so. ARGHZ ER XIN CAN!

omg, i'm so talk cock today. gd morning and it's 8.30am already. the Ultimate has overpowered me and i can't slp!! shldnt hv drank coffee. haha.

i am back

2006-02-27T00:47:00.000+08:00

25/02 (Sat)

i travelled all the way to mr han's mansion to study for PM. for those pple who may not know which mansion i'm referring to, it's ardmore park! plz faint!! studying at home is such a chore, especially when there's a dog and a sis around at home, plus a tv set with SCV (yes i'm addicted to scv, and a freak at that too). mr han thought that i was complaining about my mum in my previous post. whahahaha nope i wasn't talking about her, and tt's all i hafta say.

joycie and shan were the ones who suggested for this study session on a saturday, and they were the ones who dua me. in the end, there were only like 4 of us: andri, jamez, han and me. n i happily left them for janice's birthday party at 6+pm. hahaha andri was saying the reason i kept ringing her, asking her when will she be joining us was tt i was very insecure with only han around. whahaha ridiculous can? i was only wondering will there be another pang seh-er, nv even thought so far lor. haha i wouldnt dare as adeline will chop me into pieces.. OOPSSSSSSSSSSS. LOL!

took train all the way to tampines and while i was queueing to board bus 29 at the berth in interchange, i heard someone called out my name so softly. i turned to the bunch of people but saw no familiar faces. A while later, i saw weichuan aka andy lau boarding the bus. as some of u may noe, i'm rather pat jiao so 99% of the chance will be tt i see nobody i know at tt point of time. wah lao i am really blind. i think he was standing somewhere behind but my eyes could only focus on one thing at a time and i felt so lazy to sweep my vision across each and every one of the faces, so it conveniently swept past all with a blur.

andy lau was late as he had banged onto a pole while chasing for bus 969 to tampines, n he missed the bus after it decided not to wait for this madman. whahaha nearly fainted when he described it to me. jokers man my ex-class! whahaha buay tahan. furthermore, andylau said tt i was so shy when i turned to look at him at the interchange. SLAP HIS ASS CAN? i din even see him lor. ahaha tt was a bo chup look, not shy.

Janice was so so so pretty at her birthday party!! i always tink tt she look a lil like evonne xu. haha and she looked so happy with her bf at her side! liping, xueli, liting n i took pictures and had our dinner. guangzu, mingxian, kiamho, louis were also present as well. and here are some of the pics i've shown them:

cute right?

wah CUTE rite?

WAH cannot tahan liao right? LOLz!!!

Haha was quite happy to catch up with the guys also, as mingxian used to be on very gd terms with me, and guangzu aka chubby, my 13-years fren cum 9-years classmate cum 13-years neighbour was present to talk cock and suan me. my sec 2 class was so damn united too, especially the guys. up till now, they still organise soccer sessions almost every week, and would meet up at one's place to watch soccer matches. the girls.. hmm.. quite splited here and there. haha ting ting n me still on super good terms since sec 1! n i am super glad things turned out tis way! haha

so here i am.. digressing abit n to re-emphazing to dbf 07 now.. PLEASE KEEP IN CONTACT LIKE THEY DO OK?

ting n ping went home early, and lili went for another fren's birthday party. so i stayed on with the guys. din reli talk to wq n gang though i am on alright terms with them, except her. not tt i hv anything agst her or something, but sometimes the way she talk is full of sarcasm n i reli dunno how to continue a proper conversation with her. left for changi village with the guys, and makan again. and den.. we chatted about the past....

whahaha ming xian had mentioned during the party tt i injured him once with a flying correction fluid. wah lao sorry la. tt was purely an accident, as the cap was loose but i threw it to him before realizing it and by the time i managed to utter a warning, it had already hit his gums. his sleeve was full of blood after he tried stopping the blood tt gushed outta his mouth. i am so so so super duper sorry abt tt. i think we were running ard in class before this accident happened, as he had hidden my bag and i din noe where to find it though it was i was so sure tt he was the mastermind. abit childish right? whahaaha but tt means i got childhood ok? the funny thing was, everyone associated us as a couple, as we were on quite gd terms. wad the hell. sorry but we were purely frenz then. from sec 2 till 4, my classmates and even my teacher started rumouring abt us. -_-'" he "belonged" to my gd fren, not me. haha he bears a similar resemblance to mingjie, my super duper bestest fren in pri sch. and mingxian knows mingjie as well. tt explains our affinity, definitely not as wad they've said.

and then when i started raising my voice n started rambling in wad i would call a man-ly manner, andy lau commented "THIS IS THE SARAH WE KNOW!!!". haha guess they must have been isolated from me so long tt dey are more used to the louder me. i think the more i hang out with then the higher the chance i'm gonna be reborn.

guangzu then accompanied me home, and told me tt i'm a changed person. hehe hear tt? someone told me tt willingly hor. said tt i wasnt tt ah lian anymore (in my opinion, i never was!!), not as playful n treasures my studies now. whahaha i feel tt i've realized my mistake too late; i wish i had changed liddat since pri sch. i always think tt i may be able to attend a better sec sch if i had studied, as i did not study a bit nor do any assessment for PSLE or throughout the years. i could improve on my studies given the chances, with great teachers and even higher chinese whereby i had an edge to many others, as i had a chance to take higher chi in sec sch too.

i really regretted that. i always feel that if i were to attend a better sch, i may hv persevered and got in a better JC, and perhaps i would be in a uni right now. maybe things would turn out like the way i had mentioned if i reli studied, if i reli put in effort, if i reli had worked hard. so many MAYBEs, and so many IFs. if i can reli predict, i can be god already. but if i din land up in AISS, i wouldn't hv known so many great frenz, like the guys, peiqi, tingting, pingping, grace, xueli, janice, elaine, etc. maybe if i reli entered anderson or amkss, i become more slack or ah lian sia? maybe i'm supposed to learn the hard way. life is unpredictable. now i know, it's not a matter of where we study, most of our success is based on the amount of work and effort put in too. so.. i shan't complain abt tt anymore. i shld just accept fate tt had already became a part of my history, and try to change my fate for the better by reli becoming someone of worth. i dun wanna be someone who is useless, a junk to the family or society. ok i'm not so patriotic as to wanna contribute my whole life to the country till the day i die, but i wish to excel in my work if i can find my dream job.

i feel sad. =(

26/02 (Sun)

Studied again at han's mansion, this time round, a minor change in participants: shan, ash, andri n i. progressed super slowly and talked about DINNER again. wad the hell.. haha. shan had to tuition her cousins, hence han drove the rest of us to the bah kut teh store.. hmm.. i've forgotten the venue. tt place was FULL again!!! and a queue even formed outside the store. the problem with weekends and the people. can everyone just siam n siam n SIAM from where i wanna go? lolz

we had our meal in an indonesian restaurant in lucky plaza level 3. i had something like stewed beef soup? hmm.. i'm reli not sure, FORGOTTEN again. haha mental block resulting from examinational stress. they wanted to catch I Not Stupid 2 at bishan, but too bad i was supposed to meet ting for FD3. mr han keep saying i'm a pang seh-er, who ask u all dun book me first? hahahaha. wah lao eh FD3 was damn gruesome can. the chao da scene reli makes me sick. i EEEE until i wondered when will tt stupid scene end, as i felt so icky when i saw tt part, my whole body felt chilly and tingly. so er xin lor! n tt the stupid guy at the gym, made me scream can. whahaha abit stupid but i've nv screamed in cinemas before. n tt was the first show i covered my eyes while watching some parts.. gross. actually come to think of it, it wasnt tt scary la, but i super dislike gross shows now!!

long posting

2006-02-24T02:44:00.000+08:00

07/02 (Tues)

A bunch of us were studying in school until some joker asked what shld we be having for dinner, as usual. A day will not pass without him asking this question to us, in fact, just about anyone will do.

Alright, so the don suggested sushi tei when ah ma and the teh teh ger mentioned that they would like to have sushi. they ended up having to foot a bill of 150 bucks. faintz. i kinda regreted not heeding ah boo n jamez n meng yun's advice on a cheap meal of prawn mee. 30 bucks flew outta my pocket just liddat.

the Don drove us to a secluded macdonalds in commonwealth and i had so much more to study for fmrp. studied till almost ten before we left that place.. and i left in a pretty drowsy state after being raped by the fmrp notes.

13/02 (Mon)

This is interesting. I went to school for nothing, thinking that i could study in school but in fact, i talked cock and was driven to the famous prawn mee store in macpherson by the Don after he asked his magic question. ash was complaining of an upset stomach and he kept going to LS, afterwhich no one dared to use the tissue paper he had brought in previously to the restroom. and ash passed his LS-virus to me as i started to have the runs once i got home!! how great!

the Don was kind enough to want to drive us to TPY station. but the stupid ah mah insisted to drop off at lavender. so we decided to settle this One-on-One....... by thrashing out using the traditional Scissors-Paper-Stone method.

and i LOST!!!!! boohoo.. ah boo was more ke lian. he watched on as the don's car drove past his home, and we noticed it only after we had driven a good 500m away? so a bunch of angry mob criticised my suayness while we were on our way to cityhall. entered the car at 1815, but we got on the train at 1925. a gd one hour plus was spent travelling in our heavily jammed city. how suay can i get.

14/02 (Tues)

FP test this morning at 1100. didn't finish my revision but just tried my best to whack as accurately as i could. orh mi tor fo. Went out with my ping ping n ting ting. n we are.. THE BOHEMIAN GERS!!! decided on a dresscode n tried our best to stick with it. realized that my shoes doesnt fit the outfit hence i bought a new pair of shoes.

went to ktv and drank a total of 9 drinks, 3 glasses each. we arranged to have our dinner at via veneto but we were quite full then, so we ended up in circular road's eskibar instead. ooooh cold place. but we talked cock inside and drank. i think im reli going Shui Zhong, as some Mr I had said before. ok wadever.

my dog arrived at my home at 8+pm, and someone picked a big fight over the dog with me. kinda bo liao but i cried. felt so pek chek to be maligned n accused. din noe i could be so louya. but i am definitely not in the wrong. haiz. photos to be updated soon!

17/02 (Fri)

TO test was such a drag, and TO trading couldn't have been worse. my view was always wrong. haiz and i was so hum ji tt i limit my profits. haha stupid me. this trading has more weightage than the FO one, arghh i totally blundered. sad. but the worst thing was we couldnt limit our loss as some people out there are jokerish enough to hang their phones so that we couldnt get thru their lines. wah is tt a new tactic to let ur profit run when the price is super volatile? sianed 3/4. quite sickening. totally so not fun.

anyway, sorry line, was supposed to watch movie with ya but i went for the trading instead. i missed my advanced theory as well. but nvm, tt can wait. line, libin, sher and i went to citylink and chatted while we had our coffee. gossiped and complained and talked cock.. hehe.

line and i proceeded to the Ai Qin Hai min ge can ting - aka music dreamers live cafe - at marina square. on my way there the biatch picked a fight with me again and oops, sorry again that u had to see the loud side of me line. i seriously hate to quarrel but i really cannot stand it when people are just not understanding enough. i shall stop digressing now. the ambience wasnt too bad, just that the place was too crammy and itz quite hard to walk about. the tables are round and they are all arranged in such a way that maximises the customers intake. i bet the table next to us could hear what we were talking about, as i could pretty much hear them clearly. yes i shall find out more of such places so that i can slack there. is there some place where i can enjoy nice music, and at the same time, provide me with a cosybay ambience? hmm..

the don couldn't drive me to twin's home, so i took mrt instead. luckily cheng waited for me at tpy interchange and we managed to catch the last bus there. if not i would have to take 2.40 again. i happily enjoyed the massage chair at twin's place but it wasn't that shiok la. my shoulders are still stiff. i need a personal massager. any takers?

played mahjong and went for macs breakfast. all of us were slacking in bed at around 5+am already, with only twin, ash and i chatting like nobody's biz. i woke up at 7+am the next day and found dayne, twin's nephew in the room playing with the mahjong tiles. i checked out his toys and played with him, but we ended up tangled in a fight, wielding swords and rulers and he actually wanted to KILL ME!!!! so evil!! he even asked me to throw the ruler hard at his legs. abit crazy. whahahaa. luckily, HP woke up and i withdrew from this game by changing a new contestant - HP vs dayne. wah dayne was so hyper that i find myself a lack of childhood. nevertheless, he's a cute lil boy! dayne and i also did colouring together, and have you heard of or seen a blue elephant? or a blue gingerbread man? the only primary colours in his dictionary are blue and black, as his colouring books are filled with these 2 colours. whahahaa so cute!!

din attend kaixin's bday party at night, as i reached home quite late. was super tired too. OHH and the AIA person called and msged me. omg. but i din reply nor called back. not very interested to be an agent now. i have better plans for my future!

18/02 (Sat)

today was one of the worst days of my life. n i mean it. i gained 4 blue-blacks on my legs, becoz someone went mad again. wah i reli cannot take it man. c'mon la. it's not only u who are being stressed up. pls be more understanding towards other pple ard u. u're neither schooling nor working, and taking care of the dog for a mere 3 hours drove u crazy? den wad abt the rest of the doggy's lifespan? den wad about me? wad abt us? i even spent my time clearing poo and pee when i shld be studying. wad the shit. i have to take care of my studies n handle the doggy matter, and i cannot imagine how hard it would be for u.

it's so unreasonable that i couldnt even go out for less than half a day with my dear frenz after chionging so hard for my projects and several test. how would u feel if u have been stressed out at studies (maybe not very stressed, but a lil gan jiong and lack of sleep), and someone bombarded you with calls when you were on your way home already, that you were irresponsible by not reaching home the minute the dog does, and that u shldn't stay out late with your frenz. HELLO??? are u my nanny or wad? and on wad basis do u have to critise me like that when i have always been at home whenever i shld, or rather, i know my limits. whereas someone always goes out whenever n wherever she likes, and not feeling any remorse whenever she repeats the same mistake of leaving home w/o any news or basically juz doing stuff she deem is right but actually are wrong over and over again, for..... like 6 years? and i have to cover up for her mistakes n help out with some siao-ness back at home when it is not me who has faulted? when i always try my best to do the right thing and she, the total opposite. but somehow she will find a way to console herself tt shez doing the right thing hence, quarrels arise and she is always the star. coz u guys noe why? she is so narrow-minded and self-centred that wadever she assumed is always right. no use whacking her hard on her head to get her mindset back on track, as i would only expect hollowness in return.

anyway i shldn't digress. i was only out with both my frenz for 8 hours, which is only 1/3 of a day, and it was only 10+pm that i was on my way home, which was pretty early as compared to her never-come-home-at-night-as-i'd-rather-stay-till-dawn theory. i wanted to pia cab back home to check out my doggy, but was advised agst it as money no enough. however, i did call back home to check whether everything's alrite. i reli find it unreasonable that i was being blamed for not reaching home the min the dog stepped into my home, when tt person usually wasnt even home when she shld be. she insisted that the dog's first few hours are critical to its development in training. c'mon again la. such things nid to be trained in weeks or even months. NOT HOURS! if u couldnt even handle or try to tahan the dog for the 1st 3 hours, dun expect urself to be able to take care of it all its lifetime. and dun push the blame to others when u couldnt handle it. yes, we did agree to take care of it together, but NOT at the expense of my freedom n not at the expense of my studies, when the freedom i'm supposed to get seems so normal to others but so so wrong to someone so farked up like her. if i were to make a choice, sad to say, i will jolly well choose my work or studies over the dog. just becoz u have the dog as ur top priority now doesnt mean tt i have to put it as mine. now tt u can be 24/7 at home to take care of the dog but on the other hand, we cannot afford to do so due to our exams n studies, do u tink tt u can abuse ur so-called authority on our verbal agreement that i am not contributing enough? and since u are always the one chided for doing the wrong things (which is a fact), this is a pretty gd chance for u to vent all ur frustrations out on everyone and accusing us for doing the wrong thing now for not putting in effort and leaving doggy stuff for u to do, as we weren't at home as much as u are. u may feel that u r doing the right thing for once, but in fact, pls think hard enough and realize tt i am not on par with u. i have my own committments and i do not wish to and am not obliged to listen to ur bloody shitty crap about cooperation when u din even wanna cooperate with me by giving me a few nights' peace for my studies. and dun even accuse me of not doing anything, I DID and u shld jolly well shuddup.

her actions were totally barbaric can? especially when she threw my chair at me. i bloody flared up n gave her a tight slap while we fought. yes i did, but she din even rmb it and i told her outta goodwill. she went totally crazy. not only to me, to my bro as well. i dont want things to worsen and i dont want them to happen again. i totally hate it. can someone juz coop her up in an asylum?

20/02 (Mon)

Sentosa!!! Ahhhhh~ i was late, as usual. sherlyn n line were my companions for the day! we had our lunch at the hawker centre before taking the bus in to sentosa. oooh we took the 4-d magix ride. whahaha it was quite fun! there was storyline for the show, and special effects such as strong wind, buzzing sounds, strong gusts of wind from somewhere, which i shldnt mention lest i'll be a spoiler, n water!! whahaha.. there were only 5 people in there, 3 of us and a couple. we were busy screaming and laughing in there. some effects seemed quite real and it popped so near to me that it made me screamed. especially the part on the crabs, bees and the SPIDER! ARGH i hate spiders!!!

ooooh.. we cycled around instead of rollerblading, as the roads were quite uneven and none of us were stable enough in rollerblading. i have not tried before, but think it would be pretty different from iceskating. how i miss iceskating now!! the cool breeze wheeshing past u~ wahhhhh..

we had our lunch at sakae. buffet!!!!! haha the soft drinks that we ordered made us super full. as we wouldnt wanna spend money on ktv or a movie, we travelled to holland V for some shopping of dresses. sadly, no harvest! we ended up chatting in coffeebean, and with their sofas and all, i din bear to stand up after situating my butt there for hours. long day... but we gotta shop again some day! n bake bake bake. lol

22/02 (Wed)

Had a facial done at amore spa. wah my face is super zhu sai. i think regular facial trips per 2-3 weeks will definitely help. that person kinda massaged my shoulders for a brief minute. WAH damn pain can, coz my shoulders are so stiff. she even commented on my stiff shoulders upon feeling them beneath her fingers. my bones felt like breaking man. but it felt so shiok after a while. the pain was gone and i could actually feel my shoulder bones moving, out of their stiff state! but the shiokness was only temporary. PLEASE BREAK MY SHOULDERS APART!! i wan more!! more!!! moreeeeeee!!!!

The last day of school 10/02/06

2006-02-11T22:37:00.000+08:00

Foodcourt 6. I'm gonna miss the food there when i'm gone. zhu za tang, prawn mee, wanton mee, yu pian mi fen, chicken rice, fish sandwich, nuggets. WAHHH.. =(

2006-02-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

A is ah cheng, B is niang zi, C is me, D shi she me!? D shi marcus!!!!!

2006-02-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

My niang zi and I

2006-02-11T22:23:00.000+08:00

Wu Jian Dao 4

2006-02-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

ERRRRR WEI!

1st time lunching in FC1.. all 17 of us

2006-02-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

the first half of the 17-ers of DBF 07..